


Slow Burn

by lulublue1234



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relatiinships, Eventual Smut, Feelings, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jeon Jungkook Is a Sweetheart, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Park Jimin Is a Good Friend, Past Feelings, Revenge Sex, Romance, Slow Burn, This story has a mind of its own, Yoongi Can't Make Up His Mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4167555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulublue1234/pseuds/lulublue1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoongi has been trying to fight it, the slow burn. The build up of emotions, he can't seem to control whenever the youngest of them is around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunken Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi realizes he has a problem. Jungkook wants to know what's going on.

The older boy turns to his friend and suddenly blurts out, “Is it me or is Jungkook growing into himself a little too perfectly?” Yoongi won’t deny it, at this moment he could be a bit wasted. Okay, a lot wasted, this is his fourth, no sixth ~ bottle of Soju?

His lips tend to get a little loose when he is drunk.

“What do you mean hyung?” Namjoon is smiling; he knows exactly what the man means, but refuses to miss the opportunity to toy with the older boy.

Hell, everyone, except maybe Jungkook notices how the older boy’s eyes will linger a little too long on the maknae’s form. No one can blame him though, the kid is growing nicely tall and lean, but still with his goofy smile and signature dazed look.

“Shit, nothing. I didn’t mean ‘nothing.” Yoongi’s head is dizzy, and his mind is fuzzy, and if he wants to hold on to his pride, he will stop talking now.

Namjoon laughs out loud.

“If you like him hyung you should maybe do something about it. The kid is hot, and you aren’t the only person to notice. Jimin and Taehyung have been a lot touchier than normal.” Namjoon warns, knowing that there is nothing going on between the maknae-line.

Shit he’d kill Taehying if the second youngest even thought about someone who wasn’t Namjoon, and he is pretty certain Hoseok would do the same to Jimin.

Namjoon’s mind drifts for a moment to the little alien; he wonders idly what the kid is doing now and has a deep unabashed desire to disrupt whatever it is. He is brought to the present when he hears a loud crash.

“F**k hyung!” Namjoon yells between laughter as Yoongi has passed out on the ground knocking over the cups and Soju bottles on the way down.

The younger man pays for the drinks and pulls his friend to his feet.

“You owe me hyung, but you can make it up to me by making a move on Kookie because burying your feeling in alcohol is clearing not working for you.” The boy drags his friend home.

Yoongi wakes up with a killer headache. He groans in pain as he sits up.

_Need. Painkillers. Now._

It is the one thought permeating his brain as he slowly and achingly makes his way out of his room. He stumbles in the bathroom too dazed to knock and notices too late that the room is already occupied.

_Shit!_

It’s all his brain can think to say when he realizes the person sharing the space with him is none other than the reason he has this stupid hangover, Jeon Jungkook.

The boy is standing in front of him with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. The lines and muscles of his slim torso look like they are begging to be touched; and Yoongi’s blurry and confused brain breaks. He takes two steps towards the boy but is saved from doing anything stupid when Taehyung comes barreling through the bathroom door.

“Sorry, I really have to go.” The boy drops his pants without shame and relieves himself.

On a typical day Taehyung’s actions would have annoyed Yoongi, today he makes a mental note to thank the boy, with ice cream later. He finds the headache tablets and makes a beeline for the door, alone in small spaces; with Jungkook in just a towel is a bad, bad idea.

“You okay?” Jin asks him as he sits at the dining table with aspirin bottle in hand.

“Bad, hangover. Drank too much again.” Yoongi confesses.

It makes no sense to hide things from Jin; he swears Jin has a superhuman deciphering bullshit radar embedded somewhere in his body. The man can spot a lie from a mile away.  
The older boy looks like he is about to say something, but stops as the youngest member walks into the kitchen.

The boy’s eyes meet Yoongi’s and the redhead swears he sees the kid’s cheeks go red, but he shrugs it off as a symptom of his post alcoholic stupor and walks out of the kitchen. He is not mentally prepared to deal with his slow-burning attraction for the youngster.

Jungkook stares blankly out the window as the van takes them to the location of the video shoot. The events of the morning are on a constant loop in his mind. The look in Yoongi’s eyes, as he took those two small steps toward him leaves a warm feeling in his gut that he does not understand. He’d blow the feeling off if it were anyone else; knowing it was probably nothing. But for some reason when it comes to Yoongi, he wants it to mean something.

_But what?_

The boy sighs and runs his fingers through his still damp hair. He steals a glance at the older boy who is sitting in the seat in front of him, headphones in scribbling furiously in a notebook. The boy fights the desire to trace his finger along the nape of Yoongi’s neck.

_WTF, is wrong with me?_

Taehyung nudges him.

“You okay? You seem upset for some reason.” The alien had this weird six sense; he always knows when Jungkook is not himself.

“Yeah. Just tired I guess, didn’t sleep well last night.” It was not a total lie.  
He was getting water last night when Namjoon came home with a very drunk and very talkative Yoongi in tow. The blonde kept shushing the drunken boy, telling him to be quiet or

“Kookie might hear”.

Well, Kookie didn’t hear jack, and he spent the whole night wishing he had. Because then at least he would have some inkling of what the older boy was thinking.  
That plus the bathroom thing this morning has the younger boy somewhere between confused and curious.

Taehyung laced their fingers together, and Jungkook smiled, the second youngest also always knew exactly what to do. He knew when Jungkook needed to talk, and he knew when he needed something other than words. He closed his eyes and sunk into the comfort provided by his friend, and finally fell asleep.

“Hey Kookie wake up, we’re here.” Taehyung taps him on the shoulder lightly.

He opens his eyes scratches at his ear and nods his head. He grabs his backpack from in front of him and scoots towards the door. He makes a misstep as he is getting out of the van. His hand reaches out grabbing for something, anything to steady himself, someone grabs him, but he falls forward and lands flushed against his savior’s chest.

“Sorr~” The word doesn’t come out all the way when he realizes the person he is currently leaning on is Yoongi.

“Sorry hyung,” Jungkook finds his voice, as his face goes beet red.

“It’s okay. You good?” The man’s voice is smooth like chocolate and Jungkook suddenly has a sincere desire to swallow all the man’s words.  
Another flush creeps up to his ears at the thought, and Jungkook prays it doesn’t spread to his face.

“Nae hyung, I’m good.” He pushes off of Yoongi.  
But the man keeps his hand on the crook of Jungkook’s back, and the boy has no issues with the contact.

Yoongi was shocked when the boy first landed on him, then shocked turned into something else. Something he does not want to think about now because that would be too distracting, and they are here for work. He looks over the storyline board for the MV and realizes that the last scenes will have him and Jungkook interacting a lot.  
He mentally prepares himself.

“Cut! Print, that’s a wrap for this scene, guys, good job today.” The director calls out.

Yoongi drops his arm from Jungkook’s shoulder as though he was on fire, which he was in a sense. The younger boy has been next to him for the past several hours. And the director has found more ways than Yoongi can handle for them to touch, his arm around the boy, or Kookie’s head on his shoulder or in his lap. At one point, he had Yoongi tickling the boy, and the older thought the boy’s adorable giggles were going to drive him to the brink of insanity.

He needs to get out of here. The crew is setting up for the next scene, and Yoongi takes the opportunity to slip away and get some air.  
He walks away without looking back, and misses a pair of worried eyes following him.

He finds an empty room and sits against a wall, bypassing the chairs. The cold structure feels good against his back. He sighs and leans his head back and closes his eyes.  
Shit Yoongi you need to get a grip.

“Hyung?” The voice is unmistakable.

_F**k_

Yoongi contemplates keeping his eyes closed and pretending to be asleep, but something in the way Jungkook’s sounds makes him look up, but he doesn’t answer.  
The boy walks closer.

_F**k_

“Are you mad at me? I mean did I do something wrong?” The question is careful and measured almost as if he didn’t want to make things worse.

Yoongi looks at the boy, god he was beautiful mouth slightly opened, eyes that reflected curiosity and fear, he stood in front of Yoongi waiting anxiously for an answer.  
Yoongi sighs, he is over this battle. He reaches up takes a hold of Jungkook’s hand and pulls the boy down. Jungkook lands in his lap with a jerk; his eyes grow big, and his mouth opens a little wider in shock.

“Yes, yes you did do something.” Yoongi’s voice is a low whisper and the tone makes Jungkook shiver, but not in fear. Desire spilled over then and talking was suddenly the worst idea ever.

The shiver turns into a moan as Yoongi’s lips find his, the kiss is slow, and languid Yoongi explores the younger man’s mouth sucking and licking his way around. Jungkook taste like grape soda and strawberries and Yoongi likes the combination. He bites down into the boy’s lips and smirks a bit when he feels Jungkook shudder. He moves one hand to Jungkook’s hips and the other to the back of the boy’s neck, holding him firm.

Jungkook leans in unconsciously; Yoongi’s tongue feels foreign and exciting at the same time. He likes the movement inside his mouth the kiss makes him want to bury himself inside the older boy.

He didn’t know what to expect from kissing, but he could get used to it. He moves a bit loosening Yoongi’s grip on his hip so he can straddle the boy properly.  
The action makes Yoongi stop because Jungkook crotch touching his makes him want to do a lot more than kissing, and this is not the place for that.  
He takes one final lick of the boy’s mouth before stopping the contact.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whines when Yoongi breaks the kiss, voice hoarse with a tint of desire.

“Kookie, shit you can’t sound like that.” He kisses the boy’s swollen lips one more time before pulling away. “We can’t just jump into this.” He says wisely even if his body is telling him otherwise.

He groans a bit when Jungkook’s grinds against him.

“F**k I am not kidding. I want you too much to mess this up.” He continues speaking even as he finds himself unconsciously pushing back into the heat.

_Shit we need to stop._

He gently pushes the boy off of him, sitting him on the floor in front of him.

“Hyung?” Jungkook’s eyes ask a million questions.

“No you didn’t do anything, wrong, but yes you did do something to me. You made me fall for your dumbass. Which is why we are going to do this right and take it slow, got it?”

The younger man stares at the redhead for a moment, not quite registering what just happened.

Did he just say "fall"? Yes, he did.

The younger smiles and dives back into the older man’s arm.

“You mean it hyung? No take backs?” The boy asks against Yoongi’s neck.

“Yes, I mean. No take backs,” Yoongi laughs softly.

“Hyung?”

“Mmm…”

“How slow?” Jungkook asks shyly.

Yoongi laughs again.

“Slow in enough so that I don’t jump you on location at a music video shoot. But fast enough that the next time I walk into the bathroom and you’re only wearing a towel; I close the door so we are not interrupted.”

Jungkook blushes.

 

"Hyung, hyung, hyung..." Yoongi wants to smack the person who would think to interrupt at a time like this.

Who the hell is shaking him?

The realization hits him like a bucket of cold water.

_A dream, it was a f**cking dream._

He sighs and open his eyes to find Hoseok is standing above him.

_F**king Jeon Jungkook._

He gets up and follows Hoseok back to the sound stage.

He really needs a way to stop the slow burn, before the fires consume him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the ending, but hey it is chaptered fic, so who knows what will happen next.


	2. I Don't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook is frustrated and doesn't know why.

Jungkook has been in the practice room for three hours now, trying to perfect one move. Or at least that's what he keeps telling himself, but honestly he is attempting to clear his mind. His emotions have been all topsy-turvy lately, and he has no idea why. All he knows is that they seem most out of whack whenever Yoongi is around.

The boy misses a step.

“Damn-it,” he hisses under his breath, running his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair.

Walking over to the stereo he replays the song sending it back to the starting spot and tries the move again. Dancing is Jungkook’s fall back; he finds it both relaxing and distracting, and usually after an hour in the practice room the boy can usually shake off whatever it is that is bugging him. But he has been here for a few hours now, and he is still as restless and as agitated as he was when he first got there.

He misses the step again.

“Aggghhh, what the hell?!" He speaks a little louder this time, frustrated by his lack of concentration.

Again he restarts the music, assumes the dance pose, and tries again. When he misses the step on the third try, the golden maknae is close to tears. He doesn’t fail; he has never failed at anything, especially dancing.

“What the f**k.” The boy yells.

Unable to contain his feeling anymore the boy screams at the top of his lung.

He feels better after the release and sinks to the floor of the practice room in exhaustion laying flat on his back. He is not sure how long he laid there for, but he must have fallen asleep because the next thing he remembers is being shaken awake gently by someone.

“Jungkook-ah, wake up,” Taehyung’s voice is lulling him softly.

“Hyung,” Jungkook voice is riddled with sleep, “what time is it?”

“It’s ten thirty Jin hyung was worried because he kept texting, and you didn’t reply. So he sent me to check up on you.” Taehyung sits on the floor beside his friend; Jungkook scoots closer resting his head on the older boy's lap.

Taehyung unconsciously starts playing with the younger man’s hair and Jungkook is once again finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

“Kookie what’s the matter? You haven’t been acting like yourself. You know that whatever it is you can tell me, right?” Taehyung remarks as he continues fiddling with Jungkook’s hair.

The youngest member of Bangtan is not overly touchy-feely, but he likes the feel of Taehyung's hand with his hair it reminds him of being a kid. He feels safe. He sighs contently and Taehyung giggles.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep again it took me forever to wake you up. But if you want to snuggle you can sleep with me tonight, I will play with your hair till you fall asleep.” Taehyung makes him an offer he can’t refuse.

“Okay,” Jungkook replies through his yawn.

They get up from the floor making their way out the room. Once outside, they walk in the direction of their dorm.

“You never said what was going on.” Taehyung turns to Jungkook with serious eyes, “I know something is wrong, why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?” The older boy is both concerned and hurt that his friend is keeping something from him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to hyung,” Jungkook sighs, “It’s that I don’t know myself.” He looks at his friend hoping to see the answer he is looking for in the older boy’s eyes.

He doesn't.

“Well maybe you can tell me what has been happening and we can figure it out together.” Taehyung offers.

“I just feel off, anxious and nervous. Like I am waiting for something, only I have no idea what it is.” He pauses, contemplating whether to tell Taehyung the next part, the part that is really bothering him.

The fact that the feelings triple in intensity whenever he is anywhere near Yoongi.

He decides against it, they all work together and the last thing Jungkook needs is for Taehyung to let something slip out. Also, he doesn’t want to create any weirdness in the band; he’ll figure the Yoongi part out himself.

They continue walking, and Jungkook is shocked into stillness at Taehyung's next statement.

“Mmm, maybe you’re falling in love.” The second youngest muses, “My mom told me that falling in love feels like you’re waiting for the best gift in the world. But because you don’t understand what's happening you feel anxious and nervous.”

_Falling in love, with Yoongi? That can’t be it, can it?_

“D-did you feel that way with Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook is curious.

He never found himself attracted to guys, although he had no issue with Tae and Jimin’s relationship with the hyungs he just didn’t picture himself ever liking a guy?

“I felt nervous and anxious, yes, I still do sometimes. I struggled with wanting him, so instead of a sense of longing; I had a hard time coming to terms with my feelings for him. I spent a lot of time fighting my emotions.” Taehyung says.

His eyes tell Jungkook he has a question to ask and Jungkook is not sure he is ready to answer.

“Kookie, is there someone you like?” The boy’s eyes are searching.

Jungkook feels trapped, like a caged bird or an animal at the zoo. He didn’t have an answer for the question, at least not now. But he also did not want to lie to Taehyung, so he gave him the truth.

“I don’t know.” His voice cracks.

He isn’t lying, he does feels anxious around Yoongi, and yes it is like he is waiting for the older boy to give him a sign. But he doesn’t know what sign he wants and he most definitely is not ready to label it with words such love, or attraction.

Taehyung grabs his hand as they walk his thumb rubbing circles on the Jungkook’s palm, the action is one of the many things that Taehyung does when Jungkook feels unsettled.

Jungkook enjoys the calm that begins to wash over him. He takes a deep breath in and exhales trying to release all the pent up frustration from earlier.

“Thanks, hyung, not sure how I’d survive without you.”

“You’d be fine, you have Jimin.”

Jungkook nods the maknae line of Bangtan is extremely close. He can’t imagine a day without Taehyung or Jimin in it.

“I know, but it still would feel incomplete if you weren’t here.”

“I do make everything a little better, don’t I?” Taehyung quips.

Taehyung snickers and Jungkook bursts into laughter. It felt good to laugh. Yes, Taehyung did indeed make things a little bit better.

They entered the apartment soon after; Jin in his motherly fashion begins to smother Jungkook with attention and food. He starts to relax even more he likes the familiar Jin, Taehyung, and Jimin. What makes him uncomfortable is the unfamiliar anxiety and Yoongi.

As though he could read the boy’s thoughts Yoongi walks into the kitchen and all Jungkook’s calm dissipates into a string of fretful feelings that threatens to bring the food he had just eaten back up.

The older boy doesn’t say anything doesn’t even look at him, and it’s then that Jungkook realizes what is wrong.

They use to be close, him and Yoongi. But lately the now pink haired man had been distant, and Jungkook wants the closeness back. He wants whatever weirdness has come between them to go away.

His eyes follow Yoongi as he walks around the kitchen. He takes in the smooth skin; he smiles thinking about the tiny lisp the man sometimes has when speaking. He likes the way Yoongi moves it’s slow almost as though he is gliding.

_WTF! Why was I am so intently staring at Yoongi hyung?_

The boy wonders if there is more to his going on than just him missing his hyung.

His brain hurts.

Jungkook messes his hand through his hair at the question, he looks up at the boy who still has not acknowledged his presence.

“Aaisshhh,” the youngest exclaims and leaves the kitchen behind along with two very confused hyungs.

He’s too tired to think about it tonight. He’d sleep on it look at it with a fresh mind in the morning. He crawls into bed with Taehyung. As promised the older boy starts to play with his hair.

Jungkook's eyes get droopy, and he sighs in contentment and snuggles closer to the Taehyung.

As his mind falls into slumber, his thoughts drift once again to beautiful honey skin and pink hair, and he falls asleep with a smile on his lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love confused Kookie.


	3. Just Not In the Same Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi is frustrated by his feeling for Jungkook and Hoseok is there to comfort him.

It's been three weeks since his drunken almost confession to Namjoon about his feelings for Jungkook. Suga has been doing a stellar job of avoiding Jungkook; he was never in the same place as him for more than ten minutes. And he made sure not to sit anywhere near the younger boy when they had public appearances. He has been doing an even better job at keeping himself so busy his mind doesn't drift. He definitely is too busy to think about the way sweat, drips from the younger man's skin when he dances. It is also too busy to dream about running his tongue along Jungkook's very defined jawline, or tracing lines with his fingers along the boy's abdomen. Yup, a bang up job of not think about Jungkook.

"F**k," it's all Yoongi can say after trying, but failing to clear his mind of Jungkook so he can _f**king concentrate on his work_. He has been staring at the piece of paper for what feels like forever willing for lyrics that did not consists of the words, Jungkook and need.

He pushed the piece of paper to the floor and dropped his head on the desk.

"F**K!" He screams hoping to clear his brain.

"You starting a curse word only dictionary?" Hoseok says at the door.

Yoonig chuckles, realizing that for the past hour all he has done is spit curse words.

"Just frustrated can't seem to come up with lyrics." He looks at the dancer.

He used to have a hella crush on Hoseok, but that was many moons ago, and it was never frustrating. It never felt like his insides were eating him alive, nor did he find himself obsessing over Hoseok's every move. This thing with Jungkook was not just a crush and has been going on steady and consistent for almost two years now.

"Seems like more than that to me, but I won't pry," Hoseok says cheerily.

"How the fuck do you always sound so chipper?" Yoongi wonders out loud.

Hoseok laughs, and it's genuine.

"Years of practice hyung, years of practice. Want help with lyrics?"

Yoongi considers saying yes, but when he opens his mouth something unexpected slips out.

"I think I may be obsessed with Jungkook."

"That's an interesting lyric indeed," Hoseok jokes.

"Not funny, I am dead serious. It started out as me wanting to be a good hyung, and now I want to be a lot more."

"I know." Hoseok's tone is matter-a-fact.

"Shit, what? How?"

"I have known you forever, and if you remember all those years ago while you merely had a slight crush on me I was madly in love with you. I know what it looks like hyung, want." Hoseok's voice held no bitterness they had worked out their feelings and formed a friendship that was stronger than blood.

Yoongi knew that Hoseok would be a part of his life forever. Because even if it wasn't in a romantic way he loved Hoseok best, and his world wouldn't spin right without the other man in it.

"Sorry," Yoongi answered and meant it, he always feels a sense of guilt for not returning Hoseok's love in the same way.

"No, apologies hyung that was a while ago and we found our place."

"I know, but you got to know I do love you, Hope, more than I love most things, just not in that way."

"I know and it's enough Yoongi. It really is." Hoseok's voice is sincere.

The dancer pats him on the knee, and Yoongi honestly wants to hug him. For two reason, one he needs human contact, and two Hoseok has this way of always making him not feel like shit.

He gets up and pulls the dancer into a tight hug. He can feel every place that Hoseok's body touches his and he wants to cry because he hadn't realized how badly he needed this till now.

"Hyung, I know I said we're good. But you know shit like this confuses me, right?" Hoseok's voice breaks.

He was genuine when he told Yoongi it was enough, but he loves the man probably always will. Moments like this hurt because they rub against the rawest parts of his emotions, the parts he pushes down and locks away for the sake of preserving their friendship.

"Sorry," Yoongi apologises against his ear, but instead of letting go he tightens his grip. "I know it's unfair, but I need this. I feel like I am coming apart. So for a little bit can you just stay like this and help glue me back together?"

Hoseok nods into Yoongi shoulder and surrenders. He Lets the older boy pull him in, and he lets the walls that guard his emotions fall. The hug is intimate, but not sexual and for some reason it hurts Hoseok more.

He's had sex with Yoongi, many times. When the man needed to release his stress or when he needed comfort. Sex was a way to fill the emptiness they both felt, but Hoseok could push the sex aside and label it as something else. But moments like this couldn't be renamed because moments like these were real. With the hug, Yoongi was baring his heart and soul to Hosoek, and it hurt because he knows the man wishes he were someone else.

The first tear fell from the dancer's face without warning; Yoongi felt the hot liquid seep through the material of his thin tee. He knows he should let the boy go, but in some ways he knows he's addicted to Hoseok. No matter what Yoongi does, not matter how shitty he is, the boy gives to him so willingly. He tightens his grip more and allows Hoseok to rock into him as he sobs.

"I'm sorry Hoseok-ah, I am so sorry," each whimper for the boy in his arms has Yoongi apologising. Yoongi knows there is a part of him that always wants Hoseok to feel this way about him. He apologises because he knows it's wrong, knows it is selfish, but can't stop, won't stop.

He tells himself it is okay. It is okay because he loves Hoseok.

_Just not in the same way._

He tightens his hold some more and Hoseok cries harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be a short fic, with a frustrated Yoongi and from "boy to man" Jungkook. But I am swimming with ideas and it seems like the story is asking to be something more. Yoongi is not a player, he really does love Hoseok. He is just, well, Yoongi. I have to be honest I am not sure how the pairing will end, so be prepared for one heck of a ride. 
> 
> Happy Reading
> 
> Lulu ♥♥♥


	4. Life Is So Unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook discovers that he may want more than friendship. Yoongi is still as confusing as ever, and Hoseok bemoans the fact that life is not fair.

It's been a week since Jungkook saw them. A week since he has been walking around with this pain in his gut. It has been a week of confusion, a week from hell.

_Why was Hoseok hyung crying? Why was Yoongi hyung apologizing?_

Both were important questions, but the real question that Jungkook needed an answer to was, why did it bother him so much seeing Hopey and Yoongi together?

 

**One Week Earlier**

He happened upon them accidentally on purpose. Or at least that was his plan, to accidentally bump in Yoongi, as the man was making his way to the recording room. But Taehyung had caught him after practice making it too late for Jungkook to carry out the original plan. He was not deterred he wanted to see Yoongi, he wished to spend some time with him, maybe even figure out what had caused the distance.

As Jungkook walks down the hall he tries to come up with a good reason as to why he was suddenly showing up to the cave. He picks up a muffled noise the closer he gets to his destination, and it sounds like, like, crying?

_Was Yoongi hyung crying?_

The boy quickens his steps. When he finally reaches the door, he is startled to see Jhope sobbing his heart out wrapped in Yoongi's arms. But it is Yoongi's word's and tone of voice that leave Jungkook shaken and confused.

The tone is intimate, he doesn't know any other way to describe it. It wasn't the tone of a man comforting a friend, it was more the sound of one consoling a lover or a spouse.

Yoongi's words were even more baffling. He kept apologizing, saying he never meant to hurt the other. The harder Hosoek cried the tighter Yoongi held him, and the larger the feeling of discomfort in the pit of Jungkook's stomach grew. He is not sure why, but he does not want to ever see Yoongi holding anyone that close to his body.

_Anyone but, but... me?_

 

He drops his head on the table, hard, as he remembers the thought.

"Kookie, you okay? That was quite the bang your head just took," Hoseok's voice is sweet and filled with concern.

Jungkook doesn't understand why he has an urge to punch the older boy.

_F**k!_

"I'm fine hyung," Jungkook gets up in hopes of making a speedy escape, and he would have left too had Yoongi not walked into the kitchen. The thought of leaving the two alone had Jungkook's stomach once again churning and to his own dismay the younger found himself sitting back down.

"Kookie want me to make you some tea?" Hoseok asks as he scrounges in the cabinets.

"Nae, hyung," the boy answers eyes firmly placed on Yoongi.

The man is now blonde and Jungkook is a little mesmerize by the way the color makes the older boy's hair look like spun gold. Jungkook wants to run his fingers through it, he'd like to touch a lot of things on Yoongi.

_F**k!_

Maybe staying in the kitchen is not a good idea. He decides he needs to leave, again. But when Yoongi takes the seat next to him on the bench, Jungkook wonders if the man is made from super glue because the youngster could not move.

_Sh*t!_

He drops his head in his hands.

_No more looking._

"Hey, Hopey can I have a cup of tea too?" the oldest boy asks sleep still clinging to his voice.

"Nae," the dancer answers back.

Yoongi drops his head on the table he is facing Jungkook, the youngest has his head in his hand with his palms covering his face. Yoongi has to fight the desire to grab the boy's hand so he can look at him. He hasn't seen the boy in over a week and while Yoongi knows that's partially his own doing, there is a nagging feeling that Jungkook is evading him too.

"You okay brat," he asks trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible.

Jungkook freezes, it's been a while since Yoongi spoke to him. The man's voice has Jungkook's heart pounding against his chest. He makes the mistake of removing his hands and turning to face the older boy, only to find the Yoongi's gaze fixed on him.

Jungkook refuses, refuses to believe he is blushing.

"You feeling sick?" Yoongi asks in concern, "Your face is really flushed." Without thinking the older man reaches up placing the back of his hand on Jungkook's forehead.

"J-just tired hyung," Jungkook's voice is small.

His insides are trembling because Yoongi is still touching him, the back of the man's hand traveling down to the boy's cheek and Jungkook feels his face getting redder. Jungkook is fighting his body because it wants to move forward, it wants to lean into Yoongi's touch.

It is then that Jungkook realizes maybe he wants something more from Yoongi. Maybe he doesn't just miss the man's friendship and brotherhood. Maybe just maybe he wants something altogether different, something that Jungkook never thought he'd want from anyone of his bandmates.

"F**k," this time the word is an audible whisper as Yoongi thumb snake across his lips.

Yoongi's eyes grow wide as he removes his hand from. Jungkook's breath on his fingers snaps him from his daydream.

_Why the hell did he sit here?_

He doesn't apologize; he doesn't acknowledge the moment, although every part of his body can feel the ghost of Jungkook's skin on his fingertips.

Hoseok brings the teapot to the table along with three cups.

"Kookie-ah, are you okay?" The older man proceeds to place his hand on the boy's forehead only this time Jungkook does not feel like he is overheating.

Tears come before the youngster can even register that they are there. His emotions are a whirlwind. Yoongi touched him, and it was intimate. He is no relationship expert, but he knows the difference between the touch of a friend and the touch of, of, of, whatever, he can't find the word.

Hoseok's hand on his forehead proved there was a difference.

Hosoek gets up from his seat and pulls the younger boy up from the bench. He wraps his arm around Jungkook's waist and walks the boy to his room.

He doesn't ask why the boy is crying. He doesn't need to, he witnessed the interaction between the men at the table.

_You're an ass Yoongi, and once I put Jungkook to bed I am coming back to tell you._

The dancer scolds the rapper in his head.

They make it to Jungkook's room, the youngster curls up in his bed. Hoseok stares at him for a while before turning to leave.

"Hyung," the boy sounds small. "Can you stay?"

Hoseok smiles and nods. He understands Jungkook's pain, probably better than the boy does.

Yoongi has always been hard to read. He knows the older boy his not trying to play with his or Jungkook's emotions. He is just attempting to figure out his feelings, but what Yoongi fails to realize is that he confuses those around him with the hot and cold play.

Caressing Jungkook's face, hugging Hoseok so tight that there was no space between them, all of those actions are unfair to the ones that they are perpetrated against.

As he climbs into bed with Jungkook and pulls the youngest close to him. Hoseok realizes he is crying too. Crying because he knows what Jungkook is feeling right now, crying because the boy he is holding is probably the only one capable of winning the heart of the only person Hoseok has ever loved. Crying because no matter how badly he wants to he could never make Jungkook the enemy.

He cries because life is so unfair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the angst! I swear when I started writing this story it never played out this angst ridden in my head. I think I secretly like to traumatize Jhope.  
> As always let me know what you think. Also, curious to see who you think Yoongi should end up with.


	5. The Best Worst Plan Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin comes up with a plan and makes a move that Hoseok did not see coming.

Park Jimin is often misunderstood; people mistake his angelic features to mean that the man is somehow frail or too innocent to understand life. But Jimin is not weak nor is he is he innocent. What Jimin is is observant. He is very aware that there is something going on with Jungkook, and he also knows that it somehow involves Hoseok and Yoongi. In all the years that Jimin has known Jungkook, the boy has never had any trouble learning choreo. So, the fact that the youngest has enlisted Jimin's help to learn the new routine is cause for concern.

As Jungkook stares intensely into the mirror, trying to recreate the moves Jimin just showed him, Jimin quietly moves to lock the practice room door. He and the youngest need to talk, and Jimin needs for there to be no disruptions to the process.

"Okay spill," he says as he turns off the stereo.

"What?" Jungkook asks half shocked; he expected for either Taehyung or Jimin to confront him. He just wasn't prepared for it to happen this soon.

"Look we have been in this practice room for three hours, I am tired and frankly a little cranky. It has never taken you this long to get a routine down, ever. So, spill it, whatever the hell it is that's wrong with you."

Jimin knew how to handle his friends, he would never be this harsh with Taehyung, the boy is easily scarred. With Taehyung, he would be soothing, coaxing the problem out. But Jungkook is not Taehyung, Jungkook has a brick wall around his emotions and for Jimin to get to the heart of the matter the wall needed to be demolished.

Jungkook smiles a bit, only Jimin could approach him like this. Taehyung would be too afraid to hurt his feelings, and the hyungs don't know him as well as Jimin and Tae.

He contemplates putting up a fight, but he is tired as well both physically and emotionally.

"I think I may have feelings for Yoongi hyung," he had meant to lead up to the declaration because he wasn't sure that was the real issue. But now that he has said it out loud he knows, that it is what's wrong.

He likes Yoongi as more than a friend and NOT as a brother.

"Okay," Jimin says as he slowly processes the information, "So, what's the issue? Anyone with eyes knows that Yoongi has the hots for you, for like a while."

"What?" Jungkook says with shock in his voice.

He knew that there was something there, between him and Yoongi. He could see it in the man's eyes. He is totally floored to find out that he was the last to know. A smile is about to spread across his lips.

Then it hits him.

_Hoseok hyung_

Jungkook's shock and joy turns to sympathy; he knows how the older man feels about Yoongi. But he is also acutely aware that although Yoongi doesn't know it he has feelings, very real feelings for the older dancer.

"It's not that simple hyung." Jungkook's voice is somewhat deflated.

"Must be bad for you to call me hyung," Jimin jokes.

"That hyung even if he doesn't know it, loves Hosoek hyung too. Really loves him." Jungkook stares at his friend as though looking for a solution.

"What do you mean?" Jimin asks.

"I caught them in the cave a few weeks back, Hosoek hyung was crying and Yoongi was consoling him."

"That doesn't mean anything, how many times have you or I had to console a crying Taehyung?" Jimin points out.

"Yeah, but we are not whispering in Taehyung's ear that we didn't mean to hurt him, in a voice that says he did more than step on Hosoek's toes during practice." Jungkook knows what he saw; he is just having a hard time expressing it. "It's like he was apologizing for not loving him, but it is clear as day that he does."

Jimin is thoughtful he can't imaging Hopey hyung crying and if Yoongi hyung was the cause then that's something that Jimin needed to rectify. Hosoek crying or sad ever was not something Jimin wants to see, the man is like the sunshine and anything that stops the sun from shining needed to be dealt with, stat.

"But there is something between us too, and it's just as real," Jungkook continues. "I feel upside down when he is around like I can't contain my emotions. I fight with myself to not just reach out and touch him. Ahhhggg, it is all so confusing. I honestly don't know if what I am feeling is, love, lust, like--" Jungkook drops his face into his hands.

"Kooie-ah," Jimin's earlier harshness gone. "Life is not straightforward, and attraction is the most complex thing of all. Because when it hits us we have to figure out what it means. I don't know what you feel around Yoongi, I also don't know what happened with him and Hosoek hyung. But I do know that the three of you are walking around like zombies, and that has to end. The three of you need to talk and figure this out."

"Talk, are you insane? I can barely breath when he is around complete sentences are going to be a problem." Jimin laughs at the panic in Jungkook's voice.

"Yes, talk. You need to come up wit a plan, something that the three of you can put into action."

"Like what?" Jungkook asks.

Jimin thinks for a bit; his eyes scrunch into a smile and Jungkook knows instantly whatever the idea is he is not going to like it.

Jimin gets up from where they have been sitting on the floor, grabs Jungkook's hand.

"Let's go," the older boy says a little too gleefully.

"Where are we going, better yet, what do you have up your sleeve?"

"You'll see," again Jimin smiles, and Jungkook can't help the inward grimace.

They make it to the dorm in record time, Jungkook is out of breath mostly because Jimin was dragging him the whole way home.

"Hoseok hyung, Yoongi hyung," Jimin yells as he barrels through the front door with Jungkook in tow.

He drags the youngest into the living room.

"Why are you yelling brat?" Yoongi asks with his signature irritation.

"Sorry hyung didn't know I was do loud." Jimin apologizes

Yoongi's eyes instantly drop to where Jungkook’s hand is linked with Jimin's. His eyes grow somewhat darker, Jimin notices and tightens his grip on the maknae's hand letting his thumb graze the surface of Jungkook’s palm.

He graces Yoongi with a smirk that yells, Don't like it? Then do something about it.

_Yeah, Jimin is NOT innocent._

Yoongi knows as a fact. The younger boy kissed him once while under the influence and Yoongi can still feel the heat of the boy's lips on his own even now, some three years later. That kiss would have led to other things had Yoongi not stopped it. The day following the kiss Jimin shrugged it off, stating he had done way worse things while sober.

_Jimin was way past innocent._

"Where's Hoseok hyung?" Jimin questions.

"In his room I guess," Yoongi answers.

"HYUNG! Hoseok hyung!" Jimin yells he knows he could walk to the man’s room, but the disgusted look on Yoongi's face is worth it.

"What's going on?" Hoseok comes into the living area with a worried expression on his face, "Is something wrong?"

"Something is but luckily for you all I have a plan."Jimin beams.

"What's he babbling about?" Hoseok looks between Jungkook and Yoongi but they are both as confused as he is.

"Look the three of you may think that no one notices that something is going on. But let me assure you, you guys are not as stealth as you think. So, I have a proposal. But you're all gonna want to sit to hear it."

He waits for the trio to be seated.

"So, here's my estimation of the situation. Yoongi hyung is an ass that can't make up his mind." He eyed the older boy almost daring him to refute the statement.

Yoongi hangs his head partiality in shame, he'd never admit it, but Jimin is right. The second reason he hangs his head is to hide the anger he is feeling at being called out.

He makes a mental note to kick Jimin’s ass later.

"Although,"Jimin continues, "You can't blame him you both are awesome." He gives Hoseok an extra eye smile, and almost giggles when the older man blushes.

Yoongi clears his throat and Hoseok blushes more knowing he has been caught.

"What's your extra amazing plan?" He asks Jimin this time he doesn't hide his anger.

Jimin is unphased.

"Clearly hyung doesn't know what he wants. So, I suggest that you both date him. For real. No fake dating."

"What. Da. Fuck!" Yoongi is shell shocked.

"You heard me, date them. Both of them. For. Real." Jimin says the last words slowly. "You need to know what you're feeling for each of them. Is it love, lust or pity. The only way to know that is to spend time with both. Like the Bachelor only with boys." Jimin laughs at his own joke.

"Hyung this is the worst idea you have ever come up with," Jungkook stares at his friend in disbelief.

"Hoseok hyung what do you think?" Jimin looks directly at the man.

The dancer felt cornered. "I don't know, maybe Jimin is right," Hoseok's says in a small voice. "I am not sure if the dating thing is the answer, but I am miserable and this has gone on for too long Yoongi, it hurts. I can't be mad at you, and I can't hate Jungkook and I don't want to be sad. So even though Jimin may have given us the worst idea, at least it's a step towards, towards something."

Jimin smiles and claps his hands together.

"Perfect. However, there will be rules. First no grudges meaning no sulky Jungkook because Yoongi is out with Hoseok and vice versa. Second play fair, no talking shit about each or trying to sabotage each other this applies to Jungkook and Hoseok hyung. You can both talk as much shit as you'd like about him." Jimin points to Yoongi, with a shit eating grin.

"What? Why?" Yoongi asks.

"Because this is your fault. Lastly no sex. Save that for the person you finally choose. Also, this is temporary no poly relationship crap will be allowed. You will each get three days per week with Yoongi hyung for the next month. At the end of the month hyung, you need to make a decision." Jimin seems happy with his plan.

"Wait? Are you both really thinking about doing this?" Yoongi stares at the maknae and the dancer.

Jungkook and Hoseok look at each other then look at Yoongi and nod their heads.

All the redhead could say was, "well shit."

After finalizing a start date, Jimin's promises to make a dating schedule. Jungkook and Yoongi leave the room. Hoseok stands for a moment staring at Jimin curiously.

"Why are you doing this?" The dancer asks.

"Won't lie I have ulterior motives," the younger man takes a step toward Hoseok. "I have an amendment to the plan hyung, one that only applies to you. On the days that you're not dating Yoongi, would you consider spending time with me?"

"Why?" Hoseok can't take his eyes off Jimin.

"I want you to realize that there are other options. People who don't see you as a back up. So as you give Yoongi a chance, give me a chance too." Jimin is standing so close his breath hits Hoseok's cheek as he talks.

The dancer is so taken aback by the proposal that before he realizes what is happening his head nods in acceptance.

Jimin graces the man with a breath-stopping smile and leans in, his lips are soft against Hoseok's cheek.

"Good," he replies softly and leaves a flabbergasted Hoseok in the room.

As Hoseok turms to leave he is not sure what he just signed up for, but one thing is for sure.

_This was the best, worst plan ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimin is the man with the plan... I was laughing while writing this because I could just picture Yoongi, being like what the F**k just happened?


	6. It Is Just Human Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin and Yoongi have a heart to heart and the older man realizes that maybe the boy's plan isn's so bad after all.

It's been a week since Jimin came up with the worse plan known to mankind. Yoongi wonders if the boy had ever watched tv or movies because there is no scenario where this method works without someone getting hurt.

Yoongi is not heartless, nor is he stupid.

He knows a big part of what he feels for Jungkook is, attraction; the boy is hot. But it goes beyond the physical, he genuinely likes the kid. He likes Jungkook's quick wit; he admires the boy's determination and drive. The way that Yoongi will practically hide himself in the cave till he has perfected a song is the same way that Jungkook will spend hours and hours in the practice room learning and perfecting dance moves. He likes the way Jungkook toggles right on that thin line between adult and child. If Yoongi is honest, it drives him crazy the way the boy fits so perfectly in the in-betweens.

Then there is Hoseok and Yoongi cannot reason out his feelings for the man. His feelings for the dancer run deeper than attraction. Hope is the sunshine to Yoongi, dark skies. Hosoek knows almost all of Yoongi's shortcomings, yet the man still sticks around. Yoongi has made innumerable mistakes, and faux pas and Hoseok has been privy to them all, yet he has never judged the man or made him feel small or insignificant. He feels safe with Hoseok, the man is like a comfy blanket, or hot chocolate on a cold winter day. But he doesn't know if what he feels for Hosoek is love or familiarity.

"Aish," Yoongi drags his hand through his hair as he contemplates banging his head against the soundboard if only to make the damn thoughts disappear.

He taps his pen against the pad; he has been sitting here for the better part of two hours trying to write down the thoughts that are flooding him. If nothing he thinks this trauma should at least be right for a song, or two.

But all he has managed to do is frustrate himself and think of creative ways to kill Park Jimin without being suspected. That's not true, he'd be the prime suspect no matter what.

A knock on the door has him turning his head.

_Well, speak of the devil, literally._

Yoongi looks up to find Jimin standing at the doorway. It's weird but seeing the boy in front of him now makes all of Yoongi's earlier anger disappear.

"Hyung, you busy?" The boy asks sheepishly and Yoongi stares at him for a moment wondering if this was indeed the same person that came up with the plan that currently has his mind working overtime.

"No, I am too irritated to be busy," Yoongi answers honestly.

"Mmmm," Jimin hums as he walks into the room. He sits on the swivel chair next to Yoongi and begins to turn. "Are you mad at me hyung?" The boy asks suddenly.

And Yoongi sighs because as much as he wants to he can't be mad at the tiny dancer.

"I am mad yes, but not at you," Yoongi smiles when the boy releases an audible sigh of relief. "Yah, if you thought I was going to be mad, why did you make the suggestion?"

Jimin contemplates the question before answering, "Because Jungkook is my friend, and I don't like watching him pine after you. And Hopey hyung is like the sunshine and anyone who makes the sun stop shining deserves to be punished." Jimin says the last part so matter-of-fact that all Yoongi can do is stare at the kid.

"Aren't you worried that one of them will get hurt?" Yoongi asks quietly.

"They're both hurting now hyung, at least if you make a choice they can find closure."

Sometimes Jimin surprises Yoongi. For all his fluff and cuteness, the boy is extraordinarily wise. It is one of the reasons the older man can't stay mad at the boy.

He knows that even if Jimin may have slight ulterior motives (such as a not so secret crush on Jhope). At the heart of it all the boy just wants to see everyone happy and content.

Yoongi sighs and looks at Jimin before slowly nodding his head. This will be good for him too. He needs to know what he is feeling as well.

"Okay, let's do this then," Yoongi says with new determination.

"Really?" Jimin eyes him curiously.

"Yes, really, I am not trying to lead either of them on. The feelings I have for Jungkook came out of nowhere and took me by surprise. Hosoek has always been a part of my life, I can't remember a time when he wasn't around. I want to know what I am feeling for them too. So how is this going to work?" He looks at Jimin.

"Well, I made a kind of dating schedule. But to be honest with you hyung I thought you were going to reject the idea. I came here expecting you to tell me that you had no intentions of going through with this."

If Jimin were honest, five days ago when he came up with the idea he had way more confidence in it than now. Five days ago he was certain that Yoongi would choose Jungkook, leaving Hopey hyung for him to comfort. But after spending the past week watching the two communicate fluidly almost with no words, Jimin is worried that spending time together may be the last thing he wants those two to do.

As though reading the boy's mind, "Worried I'll choose Hoseok?" Yoongi isn't smug or mean, he knows what it's like having an unattainable crush. He was Jimin's age once. "He told me you asked to date him as well." Again Yoongi's words hold no malice. Even if there is a slight knot in his stomach at the thought of Hosoek going on dates.

Jimin nods, "Is that okay?" The boy asks softly.

Yoongi gives him a smile, "I want what you want too, Jimin, which is for everyone to be happy. So yes it is okay. But I have a request. No intimacy, nothing more than holding hands." He sees Jimin's face fall, "I promise that the same rule will apply to my dates with him too, as well as dates with Kook. The person I kiss will be the person I choose. Deal?"

Jimin gives the man a bright smile and nods.

"Hyung," Jimin looks embarrasses, "Is it selfish of me to hope you pick Jungkook?"

Yoongi laughs and pats the boy on the head.

"Not selfish Jimin, it's very human of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a chapter with no angst and cute yoonmin interaction (kind of? no? oh well I tried).   
> Hope you like it.  
> Happy Reading  
> Lulu


	7. Save Some For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin makes a confession. And Hosoek finally says no.

Yoongi's first date is with Hosoek and Jimin won't lie he is a wreck, worried about where this could lead.

_What if Yoongi realizes it was Hosoek all along? What if he makes his decision after just one date?_

"Hyung, you sure you want to do this?" Jimin asks Hosoek.

It is four in the morning, and Jimin's worry had kept him awake. When he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water he was surprised to see that he was not only one unable to sleep.

"Yeah, yeah I think so. To be honest I am not sure," Hosoek looks at the younger boy and sighs. "I have been dealing with and pushing down my feelings for that hyung for so long I am not sure if this is the best or worse idea ever. Maybe I will learn that I don't love him, and I can move on. Maybe I will get hurt by watching him choose Jungkook after realizing he is the one I want. I just don't know." The man says as he dramatically drops his head on his folded arms.

Jimin stares in dismay. His motives for this whole thing feels like it is slipping away from him the closer Hosoek's date with Yoongi gets.

"Hyung," Jimin says slowly, "This is going to sound incredibly selfish, and that's because it is. But don't give him too much of a chance, huh?" He didn't mean for it to sound like begging.

Hosoek's turns his head and looks at the boy in confusion.

"What do you mean, wasn't that the point of this whole thing?"

"Yes, and no," Jimin wonders if this is the right time to confess.

Hosoek is staring, and the younger boy feels as though he is going to melt under the intense gaze. Jimin is always amazed that no matter what Jhope is feeling his eyes always reflect a warmth that draws others in. Jimin is stupified at how Yoongi could so easily discard this look.

"Yes and no?" Hosoek's eyebrows are cocked questioningly.

"Yes, I wanted you to find closure. No, I didn't or don't want you to find it in Yoongi hyung." The younger man pauses and runs his hand through his hair, trying to calm his nerves.

"I--" he sighs hard and hopes his voice portrays what he is feeling. "I want you to find it in me," his voice is low and a big part of him hopes Hoseok did not hear.

The look on the man's face clearly shows he does.

"I meant it hyung when I said I wanted you to give me a chance as well. So, that's why I am asking, please don't give Yoongi hyung your everything, save some for me." Jimin is determined to believe that he is not blushing, no matter what the heat emanating from his cheeks is telling him.

Hosoek sits up. He honestly had thought that night when Jimin asked to date him that the boy was just being nice. There is a part of him that knows the younger man has a slight crush on him. But he never saw it as anything serious. However, the person in front of him right now is not a child with a schoolboy crush, but a man asking him to give him a chance.

"You mean that don't you?" It's a stupid question, and Hosoek knows it, but he hadn't expected to verbalize it.

"Yes, I mean it," Jimin leans forward enough so that now Hosoek is highly aware of Jimin breath as it grazes his face. "I wish you knew hyung, how awesome you truly are. You're not meant to be second best to anyone, not even Jungkook. Yoongi hyung has had so many chances to realize that, so please don't give him all your chances."

The voice that Hosoek hears crackles with sincerity and he doesn't know if it is the pleading in the boy's voice or the fact that he wants someone to put him first that has him agreeing. He does know, however, that this is the second time in the less than two weeks that he has given into a request made by Park Jimin.

"Okay," Hosoek says softly holding Jimin's gaze, "I will save some for you."

The younger boy smiles, and Hosoek's heart skips a beat.

 

Hoseok is not sure why he is so nervous, it's not like he and Yoongi have not gone out before. But his heart is pounding, and he feels like a teenager girl with the fifty different outfits tossed on his bed, none feels right.

A knock on his door startles him, and he turns to see Jungkook walking in.

"Hey," the boy says shyly.

"Hey," Hosoek answers back and yeah it is awkward.

"I know this will sound weird," Jungkook looks at the pile of clothes on Hosoek's bed. "But I don't want to be weird around you, and I don't want this, this, trial, experiment, whatever to ruin our friendship; because honestly you're my favorite hyung. So, if you want, I can help you find something to wear. I promise not to make you look weird or anything," the boy says with his trademark playful smile.

Hosoek stares at the boy in shock for a moment.

"Won't that be strange for you? I mean we are both dating the same person in an attempt to win his love."

"Maybe, but I need to be normal with you. I need for nothing to change, because if, if he chooses you hyung," Jungkook blinks back tears, "I don't want our friendship to end."

Hosoek closes the distance between them pulling the youngster into a hug. Sometimes he forgets how much younger Jungkook is.

"No matter who Yoongi chooses Kookie, you and I will always be okay. It may be weird for a bit, but you will never lose me."

"You promise?" The boy's stare is intense and for a moment Hosoek's is reminded of Jimin's look from the earlier in the morning and again his heart skips a beat.

"I promise," the older man says.

"Hyung, can we pinky swear?"

Hosoek laughs and extends his pinky to the Jungkook.

"Okay, now let's get you dressed."

They settle on a white low cut v neck tee with a black sports jacket and ink blue jeans that clung very nicely to the dancer's lean thighs. The jeans were complimented by a black belt with silver spikes. The man was part bad boy, and part preppy school boy. The look suited him.

Jungkook eyes the man with admiration; Hoseok looked incredible.

"Damn hyung, who knew you could look like this?" The boy smiles. "I am going to have to really turn it up on my date to compete with you." Jungkook laughs.

The statement falls awkwardly as they are reminded that they are in a competition.

Hoseok clears his throat to break the sudden silence. "Thanks for the help Kookie." He reaches out and ruffles the boy's head.

Jungkook smiles and leaves Hoseok to finish getting ready.

After styling his hair, the dancer takes one last look in the mirror before walking out his room.

He and Yoongi had made plans to meet up in front of the studio, the older boy has some work to finish up for their new album.

His heart is pounding and wonders if he'll be able to hear anything Yoongi says tonight over the beating of his own heart.

Once he reaches the building he sends Yoongi a text letting him know he is outside.

The night air is calming, and he closes his eyes and breathes in the cool briskness allowing it to cool his heated insides.

He doesn't notice when Yoongi comes down, he only hears when the man's breath catches as he speaks.

"F**k Hosoek you look amazing."

The look in Yoongi's eyes is positively predatory and at that moment both men wonder if they'll be able to keep their promises to Jimin.

As Yoongi gets closer and closer he is not sure he'll be able to just hold Hosoek's hand tonight. He knows first hand what's under the clothing. He knows how it feels to have Hoseok melting under his touch begging him to take him.

The distance is getting smaller and smaller and Hosoek knows what the older man is thinking.

Yoongi is so close he can feel the man's breath on his face. His eyes close automatically as Yoongi leans in he can feel the rappers lips ghost over his. The touch should have melted Hosoek, should have broken his resolve, but all he sees behind his closed eyes are pouty lips asking him to, "please save some for me hyung."

And Hoseok takes a step back opens his eyes, looks at Yoongi.

"Not on the first date."

"This isn't our first date," Yoongi says as he takes a step forward.

"Yoongi please, I made a promise that I want to keep." Hosoek takes another step back.

"To who," Yoongi falters as he steps forward, worried at what the man's answer might be.

"To myself," Hosoek's eyes are pleading.

Yoongi stops his advancement, "what was the promise?"

Hosoek takes a deep breath, "To not give you everything. To save some for me."

Yoongi knows one more step will break Hosoek's resolve and he can't lie he wants to break the man. But he had made a promise too, a promise to play fair. A promise to only kiss the person he wanted to be with.

"Okay, I'll help you keep that promise," Yoongi says.

Hosoek smiles.

He did it, for the first time ever since meeting Min Yoongi, he had been able to say no.

"But Hosoek, if you're going to look like this on every date that promise is going to be very hard keep." Yoongi gives him a mischievous smile.

Hosoek blushes.

And Yoongi thinks Jimin just may be a genius after all.

Tonight he'll let Hoseok save some for himself, because if he chooses the younger man.

He's taking it all and not sharing anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmm, this story stresses me because it feels like it has a life of its own.  
> Jimin is all about saying what he feels, and Yoongi may end up not playing fair at all.  
> **Sigh**  
> Anyway, let me know what you think  
> Happy Reading  
> Lulu


	8. I Don't Want To Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok and Yoongi's first date leaves Jimin and Jungkook worried, Taehyung does his best to comfort them. Namjoon realizes he is not "normal". Yoongi makes Hoseok's heart flutter more than once.

Yoongi put a lot of thought into his evening out with Hoseok; he felt owed the man at least that much. They have known each other for a while, and Hoseok has always been the one giving so tonight Yoongi wanted to return the favor. Tonight he wanted the man to feel as special as he had made Yoongi feel over the years.

"So what's the plan, hyung?" Hosoek asks as the walk to the car.

"You'll see," Yoongi's gives him a devious smile and Hoseok wonders how long his new found will power will last.

He nods dropping the topic fearing that pushing for an answer could end them up in dangerous territory. They drive in a comfortable silence. Yoongi likes silence, and he likes that he feels comfortable enough around Hoseok to not have to worry that the man is bored by the lack of noise.

He wonders if he'll feel this comfortable with Jungkook, but quickly pushes the thought out of his mind. Tonight is all about the man sitting next to him. He'll worry about Jungkook when he is the one in the passenger seat, tonight his one and only concern goes by the name, Jung Hoseok.

 

 

"Do you think this was a good idea?" Taehyung eyes his two best friends.

"I don't know now, I did at the time, though," Jimin answers honestly, his hand covering his face.

"They have so much history together. I am a little worried that after tonight, I won't be given a real chance," Jungkook pipes in.

"I have to admit Hoseok hyung looked so freaking hot. At least you learned you have a backup profession Kookie, you know if this whole Idol thing doesn't work out." Taehyung tries to lighten the mood.

"Not funny," the youngest throws a pillow at his friends head.

While he wants Hoseok and Yoongi to have a good time (okay maybe not). He meant it when he told Hoseok hyung he wanted their relationship to stay the same. Right now though Jungkook is regretting his decision to help the man get ready. The man looked stunning in the outfit the younger man had selected, and he is pretty sure, Yoongi noticed.

The boy won't lie he is nervous, not just about Hoseok's looks, but because of the man's past with Yoongi. Because he knows that Yoongi has very intense feelings for the dancer, he witnessed it first hand that day in the cave. But thinking back he realizes that he had encountered the men's closeness on many occasions.

Yoongi and Hoseok seem to be able to communicate without words, a look, a touch, a smile was often enough to let each know what the other needed or was thinking. Jungkook knows he doesn't have that sort of relationship with the older man.

"I am so very nervous," the youngest boy states.

"Don't be Kookie," Taehyung does not know how to sooth his two friends. He wants to tell them that it will be okay; he wants to tell them that they will each get what they want, but he can't. He knows what it's like to not know if the person you want the most wants you back, luckily for him Namjoon did want him.

The boy can't help the smile, he knows he shouldn't be selfishly thinking about how lucky he is at this moment, but last night Namjoon did this thing with his tongue, and --

Taehyung, focus your friends need you.

The boy shakes his head trying to focus on the problem at hand and not the pleasure of the night before. He takes a seat in between his two best friends on the couch; he has no words to offer, and he knows it. So he does what he does best, he comforts.

He pulls Jungkook down laying the boy's head in his lap, the youngster won't ever admit it, but he loves when people play with his hair. So Taehyung cards his fingers through the youngest's hair till he hears the boy, sigh in contentment against him. He also pulls Jimin's head to rest on his shoulder lacing their fingers together, Jimin like Taehyung loves physical contact the best. They stay like that till sleep overtakes them.

Namjoon came home from to studio to find his boyfriend sandwiched between the two boys. It is at that moment the leader realizes he may have a very real problem. A "normal" person would be angry at the sight, an "ordinary" person would be dragging their boyfriend away and teaching the others a lesson. But clearly Namjoon was not "normal" because what he saw before him made him feel a lot of things, but anger was not one of them. And when Taehyung wakes up he plans on showing the boy exactly what he is feeling. A naughty smile plays across the leader's lips. He tosses a blanket over the sleeping trio and kisses the top of Taehyung's head before going to the shower.

 

Hoseok can't stop smiling. He can't believe that Yoongi is doing this. The man hates anything that he is not the best at, so the fact that he had signed them up for a dance class has the dancer so touched, he thinks his emotions may break. But the fact that the dance Yoongi chose was the Tango has the Hoseok smiling from ear to ear.

"I can't believe you remembered," Hoseok says in Yoongi's ear as the man pulls him close and snakes his arm around Hoseok's waist.

"You may not think I do, but I remember everything you say Hopey," the sincerity in Yoongi's voice makes Hoseok's heart flutter.

 

_It was one night after a particularly brutal dance practice when they were trainees._

_Hoseok had stayed behind to help Yoongi and Seokjin with the new routine. They had practiced for most of the night, and the three were so tired that they opted to lie on the floor of the practice room than attempt the walk back to the dorm. Out of the blue Jin asks, "If you could learn any dance what would it be?"_

_"The Tango," Hoseok answers almost immediately._

_"Really, why?" Yoongi asks next to him._

_Hoseok blushes, he had forgotten his crush was laying so close beside him._

_ "It's so romantic. It is powerful and sexy, but also subtle and beautiful. I just like the way it looks."  The youngest in the room answers. _

_"Mmmm, I'll have to remember this," Yoongi says in between yawns as he rolls over his arm slung across Hoseok's stomach and falls asleep._

 

"Well thank you," Hoseok's breath hits Yoongi's face as he turns the man.

He smiles. The older man is proud of himself; he wanted this night to be special. He wanted Hoseok to know he wasn't taking any of this for granted.

As the class ends the teacher praises Hoseok and Yoongi for their "very real chemistry" on the floor, "The Tango is all about love and passion. You both brought that into your dance, I hope you both continue." The woman raves.

The men thank her for the class and promise to try and make it back.

"So where to now hyung?" Hoseok asks.

"Well if you're up to it, I wanted to go for a walk by the Han River. I love that place at night and it's late enough that there shouldn't be that many people."

Hoseok smiles he adores the river at night, the lights across the water makes the area feel almost magical. He nods his agreement.

"Hyung, thank you for this. I really didn't expect you to put any real effort into out time together." Hoseok says as he stares out the window.

"Why, would you think that?" Yoongi asks, but he is not surprised that the man would feel that way. Given that their past was all about Hoseok giving and Yoongi accepting, but never really giving back.

"Don't know. I guess because we've known each other for so long and because you really want Jungkook," Hoseok can't help the break in his voice. He remembers Yoongi's words that day in the cave.

_'I think I am obsessed with Jungkook.'_

"I am not going to lie to you Hopey I am really attracted to the kid, and there is something about him that makes me want to get to know him better. But you have to know Hope-ah, there are days when you are all I can think about. I said yes to this experiment because I realized I am just as attracted to you as I am to him, and in some ways I may be more drawn to you. I plan on putting my best into this because I want an answer. I want us all to have our questions answered when this is over." He looks over at the man.

He knows that Hoseok is looking out the window to avoid any eye contact. He pulls over and parks the car.

"Hoseok look at me." Yoongi reaches over and turns the man's head slowly. "No, more second place Hoseok. When we are together I won't be thinking about Jungkook. You need to do the same." Hoseok's face is soft, and his eyes are dewy, "I really want to kiss you right now. But I am going to keep our earlier promise. So can I hug you instead?" Yoongi asks almost shyly.

Hoseok nods.

Yoongi hits the button to unlock the doors, he climbs out of the car and smiles at Hoseok's confusion. He walks to the other side of the car, opens the man's door and guides Hoseok out of the car. He pulls the dancer into his arms crushing their bodies together till there is no space for even air to pass between them. He feels everything every shaky inhale and exhale of Hoseok's breath, he feels every thump of Hoseok's heart as it beats against his chest.

"Hyung -- I," Hoseok can't put his feelings into words so he sinks further into the embrace.

"I know Hopey, I know," Yoongi whispers in his ear.

They stay like that for, Yoongi doesn't know how long. But when they do break apart the oldest man realizes something.

 _He didn't want to let go_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so before you guys start to remind me this is a SugaKookie centered story. I know. BUT, I wanted to explore some very real human emotions in this story. History with another person, especial good history is hard to let go of. Yoongi's history with Hoseok has always been one of taking, so now that he is giving he is realizing what he missed out on. I haven't forgotten what the story is about, but it will be a process to get there. I hope you'll continue the journey with me, as each of these characters come to realize what they really want.  
> As always please comment I adore active readers,  
> Happy Reading  
> Lulu


	9. What About The Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Momma Jin offers sage advice. Yoongi plays with Jungkook a bit and the younger boy thinks he may have bitten off more than he can chew.

“Are you nervous Kookie?” Jin asks the man in the practice room.

“W-why do you ask?” The younger man’s voice trembles a bit.

“Well, you have tripped over your feet no less than three times in the last twenty minutes. That’s not like you. So I surmise you are either sick—” Jin puts his hand on Jungkook’s forehead, “Or nervous about your date with Yoongi. You don’t have a fever, so I am going with the latter.” The older boy’s melodic voice is oddly soothing to Jungkook’s raw nerves.

The boy can’t answer he can only stare at his hyung, because how did he know about the date?

“Yoongi told me,” Jin answers as though reading Jungkook’s mind.

“H-he did?” The boy can’t help the stutter.

“Yes, he did. Wanna talk about it?” Jin offers and Jungkook is not sure how to answer.

He shrugs his shoulders.

“Not sure what you’re nervous about, huh?” Jin asks.

Jungkook is beginning to wonder if Jin can read people’s minds.

He nods, “I am not sure what I am nervous about hyung. Whether it’s my date with Yoongi or whether it’s because he had a date with Hoseok hyung, first.”

“Why would their date be something you worry about?” Jin asks seriously.

“Because they are so close. It scares me, how in sync they are. I am scared he’ll expect the same thing from me, but—”

“But what,” Jin encourages the younger male to continue talking.

“But we don’t have that kind of relationship. I don’t know what he is thinking, hell if I did we wouldn’t need this experiment.” Jungkook says frustratedly.

Jin nods and gently rubs the younger man’s back.

“Kookie, I won’t lie to you. In many ways, Hoseok is Yoongi’s soul-mate. But that doesn’t mean that he is the love of Yoongi’s life. It means they understand and accept each other. Love can take many forms, and what Yoongi is doing now is trying to figure out what kind of love he is feeling for each of you. Yoongi feels strongly for Hoseok, but he feels just as strongly about you, has for a while. Trust me.” Jin states matter-of-factly.

“H-he talks about me, with you?” Jungkook’s eyes grow big, and he can’t hide his shock.

“Yes, he does. A lot.” Jin smiles. “My advice don’t try to be Hoseok just be yourself. He likes you for you. Also, Yoongi will give you the same chance he gave Hopey, he is fair. If he said he’d date both of you equally, then he will.”

Jungkook smiles, he needed to hear that. His date with the man is tomorrow, and he has been on edge waiting for the older man to call it off. But knowing that his hyung talks about him and that Yoongi likes him too is causing the smile on his face to grow bigger.

“There it is,” Jin says with a chuckle, “My favorite bunny smile.” He ruffles the boy’s hair.

And Jungkook would protest the bunny statement but right now he is too happy to fight.

“You ready to get out of here?” Jin asks and Jungkook nods his agreement.

As they make their way into the hall, Jungkook is happily chatting to Jin when they run into Yoongi, who is on his way to the cave.

“What are you two so giggly about?” The man asks cautiously. Jin and Jungkook together make him a bit nervous.

“Well, I was just telling Jungkook here all the reasons why dating you is not a good idea,” Jin winks at Jungkook.

The younger boy under normal circumstances would be shocked at Jin’s reply, but the look of fear that clouded Yoongi’s eyes at the statement had him feeling warm and joyous on the inside.

_Is hyung scared I won’t want to date him?_

“Really? Kookie, don’t believe anything he says. I am awesome.” Yoongi jokes and for a moment all Jungkook’s fear dissipate.

However, all the boy’s original fears come back when Yoongi turns to him and says, “Jungkook can I talk to you for a minute.”

He wants to say no because he is not ready to be dumped without ever having been given a chance. His shoulder slump as he nods his answer.

Yoongi leads the younger man to the cave. Once inside he shuts the door.

“Uhmm, I wanted to talk to you about our date tomorrow,” Yoongi starts.

And Jungkook breaks because it’s not fair. He’s not going down without a fight.

“Hyung, that not fair. I know that you and Hopey hyung have history and all but you promised to date both of us. So you can’t go back on your word. Plus, I know you like me too, Jin hyung said. I may be young, but I am not blind. I see the way you look ay me. So if you are calling me in here to tell me you are calling off our date, then the answer is no.” Jungkook takes a breath.

He looks up to find Yoongi staring at him with a smirk on his face.

“Okay,” Yoongi says slowly, “I wasn’t calling you in here to break our date. I was calling you in here to tell you, don’t dress up, or more precisely wear comfort clothing. Our time tomorrow will be somewhat active.”

Jungkook can feel the blush going for his neck to is cheeks, and he needs to get out of here before he embarrasses himself anymore.

“O-okay,” he says as he heads to the door, “I p-promised Jin hyung I’d help with dinner.” Jungkook tries to escape.

Yoongi knows the boy is embarrassed and had he been a nicer hyung he’d let the kid leave, but he loves the red coloring Jungkook’s face. He can’t lie it’s adorable.

Yoongi needs to know if he can make it a deeper shade of red.

“Oh and Jungkook, I always keep my promises. I said I would give both you and Hoseok an equal chance, and that’s just what I plan on doing.” Yoongi gets close to the boy as he speaks, and yes, he did make the shade a deeper red.

Jungkook is speechless, and Yoongi’s extra nearness has him feeling nervous. But when the older man reaches out and takes his hand drawing him close, till their bodies are touching the boy thinks he may pass out.

“You really are very cute when you’re embarrassed, you know that, right?” Yoongi says in his ear.

Jungkook will forever deny that he shuddered at the feel of Yoongi’s breath on his neck, and the sound of Yoongi’s voice in his ear.

The boy almost trips over his foot for the fourth time that day as he breaks free from Yoongi's grip and books it out the door running away from a laughing Yoongi.

As Jungkook runs to the dorm to hide in his bed. He realizes something. If Yoongi rattles him so easily now.

_How will he ever survive the date?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Yoongi is not a jerk. Wouldn't you want to keep an adorable blush on Jungkook's cheek?


	10. Dating Is A Bit*h

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin finally gets the courage to ask Hoseok out, and Kookie is a nervous wreck.

Jimin is pacing wondering if now is the right time.

Hoseok had said yes.

_Didn’t he?_

To be honest Jimin is not sure, because apart from the day they talked there had been nothing finalized. But today was the day that Yoongi and Jungkook were set to go on their date and Jimin wanted to ask Hoseok out. Only he couldn’t muster up the courage to get the words past his lips.

He couldn’t do it this morning when he and the man were alone in the kitchen, and he nearly tripped over the chair trying to escape. He couldn’t do in the van on the way to practice when the stars aligned and had him and the older dancer as the only two in the way back seat. So he pretended to be asleep the entire drive. And he can’t do it now even after staying behind to get some extra practice in with his hyung.

_Damn it Jimin, open your stupid mouth._

The boy berets himself.

It is Hoseok who finally breaks the silence.

“This choreography is a little difficult to make perfect, isn’t it?” The man asks as he tries the dip one more time.

“Yeah, I think it ranks right up there with the Danger choreo, for difficulty,” he answers.

“Jimin,” The man says slowly.

“Mmm,” the younger replies.

“Are you alright? I mean you have been jumpy and a little strange around me for the last few days. Did I do something, say something, you know, wrong?”

He was caught, and he thought he had been so subtle. But it seems he hasn’t been.

“No hyung, God no,” Jimin sighs because he feels like he always messes up when it comes to this hyung. “I just—the thing, well, you see—ah, f**k. Why is this so hard?”

“What’s hard? What’s the matter,” the concern in Hoseok’s voice makes Jimin feel more stupid. He wants to run and hide, but this is the most open the door will ever get.

“Uhm, hyung, you remember the conversation we had? The one where I uh, asked you to date me too? Uhm, well you said yes, but I am just checking to see if you know it was true. Or if you just said yes, you know, cause,” Jimin mentally kicks himself for babbling, but he can’t seem to control the amount of “uhms and uhs he is using.

Jimin’s breath hitches when Hoseok’s breaks out into a smile that reminded him of the sun shining.

“Jimin-ah I’d never do something like that. I meant yes,” Hoseok says gently.

To be honest the older man had been waiting for, the younger to approach, and when he hadn’t Hoseok thought maybe he had changed his mind. He finds it endearing that the younger man was so nervous. He has never had anyone like him so much they were nervous around him before, and Hoseok thinks he likes it. Scratch that, he knows he likes it.

“Really?!”

 _Wait? Did I just squeal like a_ girl?

Yup, he did. _Damn it_.

Jimin would be more embarrassed about his girly outburst if he weren't so excited that Hosoek still means yes.

“So, do you maybe want to go out today?” The boy asks, “After practice and a shower, I mean. Cause you know, we probably need a shower and some fresh clothes. And is there anything you’d like to do? And, oh god please stop me from babbling. You make so nervous hyung, I swear,” the boy takes a breath and wills his mouth to stay shut.

Hoseok is flat out laughing not because it’s funny, okay maybe because it’s funny, but also because Jimin is so cute when he is frazzled.

“You’re so cute Jiminnie,” Hoseok ruffles the boy’s hair.

Jimin would be more irritated if not for the fact that Hoseok just touched him and called him, cute. He would have preferred hot or sexy as f**k, but he’ll take what he can get. But that doesn’t stop him from correcting the man.

“I am not cute hyung. Babies are cute. I am NOT a baby,” Jimin says.

But the boy all out blushes when after scanning his body with almost predatory eyes, Hoseok replies.

“You are most definitely not a baby Jimin,” Hosoek is not blind Jimin is hot as sin. The boy is wearing a black tank with armholes that go all the way to his waist, giving Hosoek a clear view of Jimin's lean toned muscles and tan skin. He can’t deny it, Jimin is cute and sexy, and that in Hoseok’s opinion is a dangerous combination.

Jimin is blushing because, he can see it, the look in Hoseok’s eyes. It’s a look that he has always wanted the man to give him, the one that says I want to lock you in a room and lick ice cream off your body.

He shudders at the mental picture, and he needs to get out of the practice room before he breaks his promise to Yoongi and before he further embarrasses himself in front of Hoseok by springing a boner.

“H-hyung, I-I am going to go first,” Jimin says as he grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder. “I am going to get a shower.

_A long cold one and maybe jerk off to images of you licking ice cream from my body, damn it._

The boy makes it from the studio to the dorm in record time on foot. He runs through the door of the dorm only to collide with an equally nervous and agitated Jungkook.

“Sorry Kookie-ah,” Jimin says.

“It’s okay hyung; that was the most relax I have felt all day. Mind running into me again?” The youngest jokes.

“Nervous?” Jimin asks.

“So, nervous. I feel like I want to throw up and jump for joy at the same time,” Jungkook states. Jimin nods because he completely understands.

“I feel ya,” Jimin says off-handedly.

Jungkook’s eyebrows cock curiously.

“Wae?” The boy asks.

“Because I just asked out Hopey hyung and had to run away from the practice room so he wouldn’t see that I got a hard-on just because he said yes.”

_Oh and stared at me like he wanted to do naughty things to me._

Jungkook’s mouth formed the letter O, as he wordlessly answers back. Because how do you respond to that?

You don’t.

They boys stand quietly together for a while, each lost in their thoughts. They go they separate ways wordlessly. Jungkook to his room to figure out what he can wear that is casual and active, but will also have Yoongi drooling. While Jimin takes his shower and touches himself while thinking of his favorite ice cream loving hyung.

Each thinking.

_Dating is a bit*h._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short, and a total tease. I know. Sorry (okay NOT sorry). There, however, is a reason to my madness and that is reader participation. Which date would you like to see next, Hope and Jimin, or Kookie and Yoongi? Leave your comments below. The one with the most votes wins for next update.  
> This story is also posted on my AFF page. So, it will be a combination of both votes.
> 
> As always please (I beg you... hehehe) comment it makes my day.
> 
> Happy Reading 
> 
> Lulu


	11. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook and Yoongi's date. Also a little Vkook, because V is life and hilarious.

Jungkook does not feel like the golden maknae at this moment. In fact, he feels more like throwing up. He had been so excited about the thought of going out with Yoongi, but now that the day has arrived, he is sick to his stomach. Add to that the embarrassment of his interaction with Yoongi the day before and Jungkook thinks he may fake sick till he can regain his confidence.

He can’t help the giggle that escapes as he remembers Yoongi calling him cute. He will conveniently forget the part where he called him cute because he was blushing like a thirteen-year-old girl who just met Justin Beiber.

“Kookie hide me,” Taehyung comes barreling into the room.

“Why what did you do to Jin hyung now?” Jungkook asks.

“How’d you know,” Taehyung’s eyes are big with shock.

Had Jungkook been more together he would have played the boy a bit telling him he could read his mind. But right now not even tricking the gullible Taehyung would calm him.

“He’s the only one you hide from. Everyone else lets you get away with stuff,” Jungkook says honestly.

Taehyung climbs behind him on the bed; his lips are set in an “O”.

Jungkook lays on his side creating a barrier to block Taehyung from view.

At that moment, Jin opens his door.

“Taehyung I am not that elderly that I can’t see you hiding behind Kookie, but I am going to let it go this time. I think Jungkook may need some best friend time. But you come into the kitchen one more time before dinner is ready, and I am going to break your hands, got it?” The man says with a beautiful smile.

Both boys shiver that hyung was not to be trifled with. Jin may look soft and gentle, but he was dangerous, and both boys knew it.

“Nae hyung,” Taehyung says from behind Jungkook scooting closer to the younger boy.

The older man shuts the doors behind and leaves them alone.

“Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Taehyung asks.

“I am dressed hyung,” Jungkook states.

“Then why are you in bed?”

“Because I think I am gonna throw-up. Plus my bed and I have developed a relationship, and I feel like if I leave now I’ll break the trust we’ve built. Think Yoongi hyung will accept that as a reason for us not going out?” Jungkook’s eyes are pleading.

Taehyung giggles, insecure Jungkook is super adorable.

“I don’t think so, but I would so love to see you tell him that,” Taehyung is outright laughing.

“Not funny hyung,” Jungkook sighs and throws the covers off.

He really is dressed, and for some reason that makes Taehyung laugh more.

“You look nice, it’s a little unfair that you look so sexy in casual clothing. Seriously Jungkook if this singing thing doesn’t work out become a model or a clothing designer.” Taehyung praises the boy.

Because right now dressed in a white long sleeve t-shirt with black writing and black faux leather gym pants, with a white stripe down the side the boy looks sinful and innocent ta the same time.

A knock at the door has Jungkook contemplating jumping back in bed and hiding behind Taehyung.

Taehyung notices the boy’s fear, “Want me to get that for you?”

Jungkook nods his head, eyes glued to the door.

Yoongi steps in looking equally as comfortable in all black and Jungkook swallows hard because the man’s fair complexion is positively radiant in contrast to the dark clothing.

“You ready to go?” Yoongi’s deep voice wraps around the words and Jungkook feels his heart rate pick up speed.

Again he nods and turns to look at Taehyung, eyes pleading to be saved. But Taehyung offers no help instead he smiles as he pushes Jungkook towards Yoongi and tells them to enjoy their night.

As they walk to Yoongi’s car. Jungkook’s brain goes blank, and he feels silly unable to talk to the man.

“Nervous?” Yoongi asks suddenly, and Jungkook can feel the heat as it rushes to his face.

“Nae,” he hiccups.

“Don’t be, just be yourself. This time is for us to learn about each other, okay? I am not expecting anything other than just to spend some time with you.” Yoongi’s stare makes Jungkook feel like he is melting, and he hiccups again.

Yoongi chuckles.

“So cute,” he says as he guides Jungkook to the door and helps him into the car.

When the older boy leans in close to secure the seatbelt around him, Jungkook knows he is in over his head because every one of his five senses is absorbed with Min Yoongi.

When Yoongi stops his face so close to Jungkook, the younger’s breath catches in his throat, the older is so close can he see every lash on the man’s eyelids.

A slow smile makes its way across Yoongi lips.

“You really are so adorable Kookie; you know that right?” Yoongi’s voice is dark, and there is a hint of something primal in it that makes Jungkook’s stomach dip and his heart rate rise.

Before he can formulate an answer, Yoongi gets up closes the door then walks to the driver side and gets in.

They drive in silence each lost in thought.

Jungkook can still feel Yoongi’s breath on his face and the memory has the blush once again coloring his face.

Yoongi knows he is attracted to the Jungkook, but he never realized how deep it ran until he was so close to the boy he could feel every inhale and exhale of his breath. The contact was intoxicating, and he didn’t want it to end, in fact, he wanted to explore. He wanted to see how red he could make Jungkook tint; he wanted to know where to touch to turn the hitching of the younger man’s breath into a moan.

_F**k_

It dawns on Yoongi how hard this dating thing is going to be. Both men present a problem, and he can’t lie he is attracted to them both. He knows it is wrong, but it is the first time he has been able to be truly honest.

Yoongi sneaks a peek over at Jungkook and smiles. He pushes all thoughts of Hoseok out of his mind, even though a part of him is worried because the man is currently on a date with Jimin. He shakes his head letting the worry fall; tonight was about Jungkook.

When they pull up in front of their destination, he laughs as Jungkook squeals in delight.

“An amusement park! For reals hyung?!” Jungkook asks excitedly.

“I thought you’d like this. We can ride anything you want, eat anything you want, Tonight let’s put all the worry out of our minds and just enjoy each other’s company.” Yoongi laughs at Jungkook’s excitement the boy is chomping at the bits to get out of the car.

As they walk to the entrance Jungkook starts to chatter excitedly about what they should ride first, and “Hyung are you afraid of heights?” Jungkook fires statements and questions one after the other and Yoongi doesn’t try answer he just quietly listens enjoying the sound of Jungkook’s voice.

They ride almost every ride, twice, and Jungkook laughter makes the churning in Yoongi’s stomach worth it.

When they finally sit to eat, Yoongi decides this moment is his turn.

“Having fun?’ He asks the younger.

“Mmm,” the younger replies as he bites into his corndog.

“I am glad, I have to be honest. I wasn’t sure where to take you,” Yoongi laughs. “I wanted to take you somewhere that let you know I pay attention, that I notice, you know? But you like some many things. It was so hard to choose,” Yoongi runs his hand through his hair.

“Really? I’d have been happy doing anything with you hyung,” Jungkook’s answer is so innocent and so sincere it causes a lump to form in Yoongi’s throat.

“You can’t say stuff like that Jungkook, it does things to me—I.” Yoongi stops he realizes he’s saying too much when Jungkook stops chewing and the boy’s eyes are saucer large.

The younger starts coughing choking on his food, the way Yoongi had said the last statement was what startled him. They held that same primal almost dangerous hint, as the man’s words from earlier only now the meaning was more pronounced.

Jungkook can’t explain the tightening in his core, nor his sudden desire to reach over and touch Yoongi. But when the action goes from a thought in his brain to his hand on Yoongi’s face, Jungkook realizes something.

He likes touching Yoongi; he likes it a lot.

_Damn, this hyung has the softest skin._

 

 

 

_How's this for inspiration_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, finally Sugakookie! They really are adorable. Taehyung also, I love that kid he's a riot.  
> Anyways as always let me know what you think  
> Happy Reading,  
> Lulu.


	12. Screwed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook turns the tables on Yoongi.

Jungkook is mortified as he sits in the front seat of Yoongi’s car. He keeps replaying the events of earlier in his mind. The younger man is embarrassed; he hadn’t meant to reach out and touch. Jungkook is not sure how it all spiralled so out of control going from a thought in his head to his hand caressing the Yoongi’s face.

Just thinking about his faux pas has Jungkook flushing red. He can feel the heat of his embarrassment rising from his neck to his ears. The younger man throws his hands over his face to hide his current state.

“Don’t do that,” Yoongi’s voice has the younger man peeking through his fingers. “Don’t cover your face, I like looking at you. Especially when you blush like that.” Yoongi graces Jungkook with a mischievous wink.

“No teasing hyung,” Jungkook whines burying his face deeper in his palms. “I am so embarrassed; I don’t know why I did that.” The youngest man says.

“What? Touch my face? That’s why you’re turning red?”

Yoongi laughs not because of Jungkook’s cuteness, but because if touching his face caused this reaction. What would happen to the boy if Yoongi told him where actually wanted to be touched?

“Shit, you are freaking adorable. You know that, right?” Yoongi says hoping to turn the boy a deeper shade of red.

_Success!_

Jungkook sputters and coughs. He has spent a good portion of this date either blushing or spewing unintelligible conversation, and the young man is a little tired of Yoongi having the upper hand. Jungkook wonders if Hoseok had experienced the same.

“Hyung, did Hopey hyung blush this much?” The question comes out before he can stop it.

Jungkook’s hands cover his mouth instantly, and his eyes grow wide.

And yeah right about now Yoongi wants to kiss Jungkook. But he made a promise, to only kiss the person he chooses and he’s still not sure who that is. Kissing was not clearly not the litmus test; he had wanted to kiss Hoseok on their date as well.

Yoongi turns to Jungkook and asks, “Do you really want me to answer your question?”

The boys nods, hands still covering his mouth and eyes still saucer-sized.

“No, Hosoek didn’t blush. But we have known each other since forever. I like when you blush Jungkook, you look beautiful and vulnerable. It makes me want to protect you. I also, really like when you touch me it makes my skin tingle. Even now I can still feel the ghost of your fingers on my skin.”

Yoongi doesn’t know if he has shared too much, but he was honest with Hoseok about his feelings for him and he wants to do the same with Jungkook.

Jungkook’s hand fall from his lips.

“Y-you can?” Jungkook asks, Yoongi’s words fascinate the boy.

The man smiles again, “Yes, I can.” Yoongi’s voice is rich and thick, and something about the sound has Jungkook once again reaching out, only this time he means to touch.

“How long?” Jungkook’s eyes are wide with curiosity. “How long do you feel my touch on your skin? I feel your touch for days hyung, no matter how minor. I replay the instances in my mind and wonder if you meant to touch, or if it was an accident.” Jungkook says as he traces his finger along the contours of Yoongi’s jaw.

Yoongi slams on the breaks. Jungkook is too distracting. Distractions and driving don’t mix. Yoongi pulls over to the side of the road.

Don’t touch him Yoongi; you made a promise.

The older man sits on his hands as; the younger man leans closer to explore all the areas of Yoongi’s skin that are visible

“Your skin is so soft hyung,” Jungkook’s murmurs mostly to himself.

Yoongi can feel his resolve slipping Jungkook is so close that he can feel the boy’s breath on his skin. Jungkook’s hand is inviting Yoongi to give in as it trails slowly along his skin, and Yoongi wants to, he really does.

But he doesn’t.

“Kookie, stop,” Yoongi’s voice is breathy, and he almost forgets what he is doing when he feels Jungkook shudder at the sound.

_F**k!_

When the boy leans in and kisses Yoongi’s neck, the older man can’t help the groan that escaped, or the way his hands move from their hiding spot to hold the boy in place.

“I want to kiss you so badly right now,” Yoongi’s voice cracks over the words.

“Then do it hyung,” Jungkook responds, he wants anything Yoongi is willing to give.

Yoongi leans in.

_Screw promises, screw Jimin._

He is mere inches away from Jungkook’s eager lips.

_Screw Hoseo—_

The dancer’s face flashes behind his eyes and Yoongi stops.

“I can’t, we can’t,” Yoongi falls back into driver’s side his head hitting the back of his seat.

His heart is beating at a million miles per hour, and no amount of controlled breathing can stop its cascade.

Jungkook is equally breathless. His chest is rising and falling as though he has just finished hours of aggressive dancing. He’d worry more about what could be a small heart attack if he wasn’t so curious as to why he was NOT kissing Yoongi right now.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jungkook blurts out.

“No, God, no.” Yoongi answers. “I want to kiss you. Truthfully, I want to do a lot more than just kiss you. You’re sexy as hell Jungkook, seriously. But I made a promise only to kiss the person I plan on choosing. And honestly, I don’t know who that is yet. So far, all I have gotten from these dates is that I am crazily attracted to the both of you.”

Yoongi feels exasperated. If Hoseok weren't standing in the way, he would be kissing Jungkook right now. But on the flip side, the night he took Hoseok out, the reverse would have been true; if not for Jungkook he would have kissed Hoseok.

What happens next throws a monkey wrench in Yoongi’s plans of loyalty.

“Hyung,” Jungkook’s voice is dark and dangerous, as he once again invades Yoongi’s space. “I didn’t make any such promise, and if I did I already know who I want.”

With that firm smooth lips attach to Yoongi's. Yoongi tries not to kiss back, not to give in. But Jungkook's lips are demanding, and Yoongi is having a very hard time not meeting the demands.

As Yoongi's resolve begins to falter all his brain can think is—

_I am so screwed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Sorry for the late update. But I hope you like this chapter. Also, my awesome friend blaqandwhite has offered to beta my new chapters for me. She's the best. This chapter may change after it is beta'd.
> 
> So, some serious Sugakookie interactions.
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Happy Reading
> 
> Lulu


	13. Problems And Problem Solvers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin is a problem, but Hoseok is a problem solver.

Jimin is nervously pacing outside the dorm, and as he waits for Hoseok, he wonders frantically if maybe he should have waited inside till the older man was ready, but his nerves were too on edge to spend another moment indoors. Jimin breathes in the cold night air; he loves fall, with its bright colored leaves and cool, crisp air. He inhales deeply hoping the fresh air will calm him down. The younger man wants tonight to be special, but Jimin has spent so much time worrying that Hoseok would turn him down or change his mind that he didn’t have a plan for their date. All Jimin knows for sure is that he wants to spend time with the older dancer, the “where” was not important to him. However, Jimin’s anxiety grows exponentially when he realizes that the “where” may matter to Hoseok.

 

The younger dancer pulls out his cell phone.

 

_**To: T-alien** _

_I'm so screwed!_

_**From: T-alien** _

_Why?!_

_**To: T-alien** _

_I didn’t make any plans_

_**From: T-alien** _

_Really? Nothing?_

_You’re not that cute._

_**To: T-alien** _

_Be very glad that you're not_

_Next to me right now._

_Apart from wise-cracks do you have_

_Any comments that might be helpful?_

_**From: T-alien** _

_Nope, j/k._

_You’re nervous, huh?_

_**To: T-alien** _

_Yeah I don’t want hyung to_

_Think I am some stupid kid with a crush._

_**From: T-alien** _

_On our first date, Namjoon took me to a cooking class_

_super fun and romantic._

_Here I’m going to send you the link._

_It starts in an hour._

_Also, hyung is on his way down, and he looks fucking HOT._

_**To: T-alien** _

_Thanks Tae_

_owe you one._

_**From: T-alien** _

Go get _‘em, tiger._

_Rawr'_

 

 

Jimin can’t help but smile. Tae can be ridiculous at times, but the slightly younger man always knows exactly what to say and do to help Jimin calm down. Jimin is about to reply to the text when Hoseok walks out the door, and Taehyung was right - the older man looks amazing, no, he looks gorgeous. Before Jimin can control his brain to mouth filter, the words fly out of his mouth.

 

“Holy shit hyung, you look so fucking good,” Jimin’s eyes grow wide, and his hand instinctively flies to his mouth, he meant to sound a little bit more mature than a horny teenager who just wanted to jump the man’s bones.

 

However, the smile that covered Hoseok’s face had Jimin relaxing considerably, because it seemed as though Hoseok approved of the outburst.

 

“That’s quite the greeting Park Jimin,” the older dancer says through laughter, “You talk to your mother with that mouth?”

 

“All the time hyung, although my mother has never looked like this,” the boy says, eyes still shining with appreciation.

 

To be honest Hoseok is shocked and happily surprised at Jimin’s reaction. His outfit is not extravagant, and he didn't put as much time into deciding what to wear tonight as he did on his date with Yoongi, but that does not mean that Hoseok didn't want to impress the younger man. Tonight he chooses to be casual in tight dark blue jeans, and a black oversized wide-necked tee with just the front tucked into his pants. His hair is styled down and framing his face, and he has on just enough black liner to make his eyes pop, but not so much as to make the makeup noticeable. The outfit is completed with black lace up army boots, and a black letterman jacket. Hoseok knows he looks good, relaxed and comfortable has always been a good look for him, especially when the jeans show every movement his powerful legs make.

 

Jimin’s eyes are currently glued to Hoseok’s thighs, and every step the man takes has the younger man licking his lips in anticipation. Jimin has never wanted to touch something as badly as he wants to touch Hoseok right now. Jimin shakes his head, trying to get his mind back under his control; they need to make it at least through the first portion of the date before he can even allow his mind to wander to the places it wants to go.

 

Keep it together Park, you only have one chance to make a first impression. Let’s not have the man think you are a horny, crazy, sex-starved pervert, even if that’s how he makes you feel.

 

“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” Hosoek asks, clearing his throat. Jimin’s stare is slowly undoing the older man, the younger man’s eyes speak of anticipation and want, and Hoseok is slowing drowning in the dark brown orbs.

 

“Well, how do you feel about cooking hyung?” Jimin asks, and when Hosoek smile begins to revile the sun in its brightness, Jimin makes a mental note to buy Taehyung all the ice creams he wants.

 

“Really? I’ve always wanted to do that; the commercials look like so much fun. Are we really going to do that?” Hoseok can’t hide his excitement, he has always wanted to go on a cooking date, feeding each other food that you made together seems so intimate.

 

“Y-you don’t think it’s silly?” Jimin asks, he initially worried that the dancer would find it strange.

 

“No, I don’t. I'm really happy this is what you chose. Thank you Jimin,” Hoseok says as he gets into the car.

 

Jimin is thankful he had thought to ask Jin for permission to use his car. The older man had reluctantly agreed, but only after warning Jimin about the deadly consequences that would occur “if so much as a scratch is on my baby.”

 

The drive is quiet but comfortable; it has always been that way with Hoseok. It is part of the reason Jimin is so attracted to the man; he doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence with useless chatter or meaningless conversation. However, Hoseok breaks the silence with a question that Jimin was not prepared to answer.

 

“Hey Jimin,” Hoseok’s voice is soft, the older man had been mulling this question in his mind since the moment Jimin asked to be given a chance.

 

“Mmm?” The younger man replies, eyes firmly fixed on the road.

 

“W-wh—why me?” Hoseok’s voice is nearly inaudible as the question falls out of his mouth, “I mean if this is some competition to beat Yoongi or something–” Hoseok regrets the statement the moment it rolls off his tongue.

 

Jimin brings the car to complete stop, the abrupt action nearly causes an accident and the driver behind them honks loudly. The younger man has the presence of mind to pull the vehicle over to reduce any further danger. Jimin parks the vehicle in the parking lot of a nearby playground and gets out of the car, furious.

 

Hosoek gets out of the car as well, scurrying after the younger man who is swiftly walking away.

 

“Jimin, Jimin,” Hosoek calls out to the man who seems to be ignoring him. He runs a little faster and catches up to Jimin, reaching his hand on the younger man’s shoulder only to have it shrugged off.

 

“What the hell hyung? Seriously, what else do I have to do, what do I have to say, so you get it? I like you. Do I really seem so desperate, so insecure to you, that you’d think I’d ask you so I can win one over Yoongi hyung?” Jimin knows his voice is hard, but he is pissed. If this is what Hoseok thinks, then all of this is for nothing.

 

“No,” Hoseok’s voice trembles around the answer.

 

Hoseok knows Jimin would never do what he suggested, but the older dancer can find no other reason for someone like Jimin to like him. The kid is like sunshine; he's always smiling and making people feel warm. Add to that the fact that the younger man straddles the line between sexy and innocent so perfectly. Hosoek struggles many times between a desire to pinch the man’s pudgy cheeks, and a desire to strip the younger man naked and lick every inch of his chocolate abs.

 

“I'm sorry for asking that Jimin. The thing is, the problem – fuck! You confuse the hell of out me. Yoongi frustrates me, but I understand him. You, you make no sense to me, you are cute and dangerous, a combination that should not coexist as well as it does in you. I'm not sure what I feel for you. There are days I think about you constantly, and not in a “friend” way, and other days I just want to ruffle your hair and call you my cute dangsaeng. I don’t understand why you like me,” Hoseok stops walking.

 

Jimin is startled. He hadn’t expected this much honesty because Hobi is always so smiley, but Jimin knows that on many occasions that big grin just hides whatever pain the man is swallowing down. He walks back to where Hoseok stands, and Jimin’s hands instinctively reach out to wipe a stray tear that has made its way down the dancer’s cheek.

 

“Then let’s find out together hyung, let me show you how much I like you. I don’t have any specific reasons why I like you. All I know is that my heart is happy when I see you, and that I hurt when you hurt. So let’s discover the reasons together, huh?” Jimin says as he moves in closer.

 

Hoseok looks up into the man’s eyes, and his breath is literally taken away when pouty red lips find their way to his. The kiss is soft, and it tugs at Hoseok’s heartstrings, sending a tickle of pleasure down his spine. Jimin doesn’t intensify the kiss, he doesn’t need to, it is perfect just like this and he feels Hoseok go lax under his touch as he gives in to the sensation. Jimin’s tongue finds its way into the older man’s mouth when Hoseok lets a tiny sigh of contentment escape, the man’s caverns are warm and inviting, and Jimin lets out a hum of satisfaction because this is what he has always wanted.

 

When they finally break apart, it's because breathing had become necessary. Jimin smiles at the crimson coloring Hoseok’s face. The older man is panting and trying to catch his breath, and to Jimin, the man has never looked so beautiful. The younger man leans in and once again captures the older man’s lips, his promise to Yoongi long forgotten.

 

This time, however, the kiss is not chaste nor is it slow. Jimin pours all the feelings for the man that he has had to push down into the kiss, and when Hoseok moans into his mouth and angles his head to give Jimin more access, the younger man takes full advantage of the moment. Jimin pushes Hoseok up against the jungle gym and pins his body into the dancer, his tongue curling against Hoseok’s and sucking and licking anything it can find. His hand slips slowly down the older dancer’s side till it lands on the man’s muscular thigh, and Jimin likes the way the muscles tense under his fingertips, and the way Hoseok’s body jerks forward involuntarily at the touch.

 

“Fuck Jimin, we shouldn—oh fuck, oh,” Hoseok’s brain goes numb when Jimin’s body grinds into his.

 

Jimin is almost past his breaking point, and he is about to throw caution to the wind. He wants Hoseok so bad, but his reason is slowly coming back, and this not how he had planned for the date to start, and he wants to earn his intimate time with Hoseok. Jimin reluctantly moves off of the older man.

 

Hoseok is both disappointed and relieved at the loss of contact. He peers up at Jimin from beneath his lashes, the other’s gaze is still intense, and his lips are puffy and swollen from kissing, Jimin looks delectable, and Hoseok can’t look away.

 

“I like you hyung, this is not some game that I am playing,” Jimin runs his hand through his hair and then grabs Hoseok’s hand, “So how about we continue this date, and go make some delicious food and find out more about each other? I'll do my best to keep my hands off of you, but I'll let you know that’s gonna be hard because I like touching you,” Jimin graces the man with a wink and a wicked grin as he pulls Hoseok towards the car.

 

Once in the car, Hoseok’s words finally return, along with a regular heartbeat and normal breathing. He smiles to himself because Jimin is going to be a problem, one with thick lips that know how to deliver a kiss and hands that like to roam and caress. Hobi turns to the younger man and leans into Jimin’s ear.

 

“Just so you know, you have my permission to touch” Hoseok’s voice is husky, and he knows his words have the right effect when the younger man shudders and lets out a soft, “fuck.” Hoseok leans back in his seat, a satisfied grin on his face.

 

Yup, Jimin is gonna be a problem, and Hoseok is okay with that because he has always been a bit of a problem solver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhmm, sorryforthisupdatebeingsolatepleaseforgiveme!!!! (mumbles apology, while doing 90-degree bow). 
> 
> Guys life is crazy busy now, but here is a new chapter.
> 
> As always let me know what you think.
> 
> Happy Reading
> 
> Lulu


	14. Point Of View Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Yoongi realizes he's a selfish prick and Jungkook realizes he likes kissing - Yoongi, that is.

Yoongi~

It’s been four days since the dates, and Yoongi is feeling anxious. The sensation is akin to the feeling one gets when sitting on a roller coaster that is perched at the acme, waiting for the inevitable drop. The older man can see the tides turn as a slow shift begins to take place in the relationships around him. And Yoongi doesn’t like change, but he knows that’s exactly what’s happening – change.

 

His date with Jungkook had left Yoongi with a sense of guilt that he didn’t care to be walking around with. It’s not like he’d committed a crime, no one had died and no one had gotten injured. But the fact that he gave in, that he kissed back, has him feeling like he betrayed a trust, like he betrayed Hoseok. Yoongi may not be the most upstanding guy in the world, and he’s not perfect by a good mile or so. However the one thing he’s always prided himself on is being a man of his word, but that night with Jungkook pressed flushed against him, begging for something that Yoongi desperately wanted as well, all the older man could do was give in.

 

_“Hyung. I didn’t make any such promise, and If I did, I already know who I want,” Jungkook’s voice is dark and it reminds Yoongi of melting chocolate; both hot and sweet._

_When Jungkook’s lips graze his, Yoongi doesn’t respond, but he doesn't push the younger man away either. When Jungkook slithers closer and deepens the contact, again, Yoongi doesn’t push. His hand instinctively lands on Jungkook’s hip instead, gripping the fabric of the man’s pants. Yoongi’s mind is telling him he should stop, they should stop. Jungkook’s tongue_ laves _against his before Yoongi can think of doing anything else, and it causes tiny explosion-like sensations to surge through his brain, rendering him incapable of doing anything but responding in kind._

_Jungkook whimpers slightly and sighs when Yoongi bites down on his bottom lip. The younger man wonders if kissing generally feels like this - like eating ice cream for the first time, or swinging as high as you can; or is this just what it feels like to kiss Min Yoongi? As Yoongi’s persistent exploration of Jungkook’s mouth goes from timid to passionate, a sweet sensation fills the younger man and now, now Jungkook understands why the older man is called Suga._

_“Hyung,” Jungkook groans into Yoongi’s mouth, the young man wants more, no, he needs more, “Please, I -”_

_Jungkook finds speech growing difficult as Yoongi’s fingers find their way under his shirt, scratching and digging into his skin. It hurts, stings really, but Jungkook likes it. The pain mixed with the feeling of Suga’s tongue in his mouth is_ heady _and it feels like the first snowfall or the first day of spring; unexpectedly perfect._

_Yoongi is sinking, heck, Yoongi is drowning. Jungkook’s mouth is an ocean of saccharine, and Yoongi is slowly being submerged in its honeyed depths. As Jungkook groans and tries to climb over the center console to make his way into Yoongi’s lap, the older man finds his last thread of resolve and grabs hold of it._

_“Shit, shit, shit—Jungkook stop,” Yoongi keeps the younger man in his place, thwarting Jungkook's plans._

_Because if Jungkook makes it over, if he ends up in Yoongi’s lap, the older man knows he’d want more than kissing, he'd want so much more._

 

The memory has Yoongi feeling slightly heated, and even now, so many days later, the desire burns just as hotly. By looking at Jungkook, just looking, there’s a ferocious need to touch, to grab, to hear Jungkook gasp in a mixture of pain and pleasure. The demand for contact is so great that Yoongi wonders if there is something wrong with him.

 

The older man would give into the desire if it weren’t for Jung Hoseok. Hoseok and his newfound close, close, closeness to Park Jimin. It bothers Yoongi and it shouldn't, they’re not an item. In fact if Jimin hadn’t come up with this idea, Yoongi would be happily fucking the brains out of a very willing Jungkook, while still having Hoseok in his life.

 

And yes, he knows it’s fucking selfish, and he knows he’s a dick, but he’s not ready to let go of Hoseok. Much like a kid who doesn’t like to share his toys, the thought of Hoseok and Jimin together has Yoongi wanting to throw a temper tantrum. And right now as he sits in the kitchen and watches the too close duo engage in a rousing game of how-many-times-can-I-accidentally-touch-you-during-Mario-Kart, he has a sudden desire to drag Jimin from the living room and toss him over the balcony. Making sure he lands on a really, really, _rrrrreally_ soft car, of course, he doesn’t want the younger man dead or anything.

 

Yoongi gets up from the table with a sigh. He needs to get out of here because he’s pretty sure throwing Jimin from anything wouldn’t be viewed in a positive light. He decides to head to the Cave, music always makes him feel better.

 

“I’ll be in the studio if you guys need me,” Yoongi says as he pulls the hoodie over his head. The duo hums their acknowledgment from the floor without ever looking up, and yes, Yoongi pouts.

 

_Fucking Park Jimstealer, who the hell gave you permission to play with my Hoseok?_

 

 

Jungkook~

The youngest member is not emotional by nature. In fact, he is known for his calm exterior and his ability to adapt like he’s always been a part of whatever 'new' thing he encounters. Yoongi is not new, but the feelings he stirs within the younger man are very, very new. Jungkook wants to simultaneously kiss the older man till his knees go weak and kick him in the balls which will in turn make his knees go weak.

 

It’s been four days, _four fucking days_ , and the older man has managed to evade him like a germaphobe avoids the bubonic plague. There have been a lot of 'near misses' and 'almost encounters' and frankly speaking, Jungkook is a mixture of confused, angry, and lovesick. The youngster is not sure what he has done, he's baffled as to why Yoongi feels the need to duck and hide when he sees him.

 

_Okay, maybe I kissed him...but he kissed back._

 

Kissing Yoongi was life; it was like waking up on Christmas morning and finding out that you'd gotten everything you wanted. Jungkook wouldn't mind tabling the talk to pursue more kissing. However, for that to happen, Yoongi would have to be in the same place as him for more than five seconds.

 

_When did Yoongi become such a ninja?_

 

As Jungkook sulks in his bed, he hears Yoongi’s voice coming from the hall.

 

 _“If you guys need me I’ll be in the studio.”_  

 

Jungkook contemplates going to the studio, you know, to talk and stuff. _Because they should, right?_ The kiss was a little intense, oh who’s he lying to, the kiss was fucking awesome.

 

It was so awesome that it’s all Jungkook has thought about and dreamt about for the past four days. Well, that and Yoongi’s fingers scratching his skin and leaving tiny marks in their wake. Like the pretty purple one currently coloring just above Jungkook’s hip, a constant reminder of the sweet, mind-blowingly, euphoric feeling that pain mixed with pleasure can bring. And yes, that’s new to Jungkook too.

 

“What ya doing?” Jimin’s voice pulls him fro his thoughts.

 

“Nothing,” Kookie says, deciding that sulking like a child who can’t have candy isn’t the right answer, “Where’s Hoseok hyung, why aren’t you attached to him like an extra limb or something?”

 

Jimin smiles, “He’s gone to the studio, manager-nim wants him to finish up the last bit of choreo for his solo stage."

 

“Mmm,” Jungkook’s a little jealous that Hoseok will be doing a solo. But he’s happy for his hyung too, Hoseok's an amazing dancer.

 

Jimin crawls into bed with Jungkook, the younger man scooting over to give the smaller man space. He is still thinking about going to the studio to try and talk to Yoongi. But he’ll save that for later, Jimin is warm and close, and breathing evenly.

 

Jungkook has spent so much time being bound up in Min Yoongi that he didn’t realize how tired he was. As Jungkook falls asleep, he thinks about his plan. Yoongi will be in the studio till late, so a tiny nap wrapped in Jimin’s warmth is doable. The younger man smiles.

 

_Nap first, then corner Yoongi._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Guys!!!! Surprise! I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this story, well I haven't. So, life has been extra busy with school and work kicking my butt. I am putting this story on a schedule, it will be updated every three weeks on a Sunday. Sorry about the wait, I feel super guilty. I hope you like the update. As always let me know what you think, it's the only way I know I'm giving you all a story you what to read. So comment, kudos, or hit me up on twitter @lsglr or ask me a question about this or other stories on http://ask.fm/lsgrlr .


	15. More Than Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi makes a decision to face Hoseok, and Namjoon realizes something that no one else has figured out.

The green cursor has been blinking on the black background of the computer screen for what feels like hours, and Yoongi’s been staring -- almost trance-like for just as long. He has yet to write a single word and he feels exactly like the blinking cursor; as if he is standing stunted in a dark place, unable to move forward while fighting to find the light.

 

Yoongi is a grown-up, or at least, he likes to believe he is. This situation with Hoseok and Jimin, however, has turned him into a whiny three-year-old who’s upset because he can’t open his Christmas presents before Christmas. The man sighs, he knows it’s stupid and selfish and ugly, but he’s human _for fucks sake_ \-- and humans don’t always make sense. He runs his hand through his hair, messing up the pinkish orange tresses (dyed recently for promotions).

 

“Aish,” Yoongi exclaims as he slams the mouse down against the desk.

 

He needs a distraction, or a drink, but it’s a tad bit too early in the day for a drunk Yoongi, so he opts for an energy drink from the vending machine instead. He stands up and kicks away the chair from behind him, and yes it’s passive aggressive, but he doesn’t give a flying fuck; if he wants to get mad at inanimate objects, he damn well will.

 

The walk to the machine is refreshing in a sense because he’s no longer locked up in a tiny room staring at a blank computer screen and waiting for inspiration to hit him, like a batter in a baseball game – all while he pretends he’s not thinking about Hoseok and Jimin. Normally the studio is his elixir and his healing balm, but today, nothing has helped, not even his most beloved music. The open space of the hallway feels oddly freeing to the rapper, as if he's been set free from prison. Although his mind is still filled with pictures of Hoseok and Jimin being close and cuddly, the walk through the halls makes his heart feel less constricted.

 

 _Fuck Park Jimin for messing things up. Who the hell gave him permission to cause Hoseok to_ falter _anyway?_

 

“Damn it Yoongi, you really can’t be mad and you know it. You had millions of chances,” the pinkish orange-haired man tries to reason with himself, but it doesn’t work.

 

Standing in front of the vending machine, he chooses a Monster energy drink; he plans on staying in the studio till a song comes or he dies, whichever comes first. He decides on the long way back to the cave, the extra walk should clear his mind. The building is empty, it’s Sunday. The hallways buzz with silence and Yoongi likes the eerie feeling the lack of noise creates. He can feel the wheels in his brain start to turn as lyrics begin to form, based on the almost haunting mood his vacant surroundings produce.

 

The rapper is about to turn around and head back in the direction he came from so he can write down the song that is developing in his mind. His progress is halted, however, when he hears a faint sound, music? He proceeds in the direction of the intrusion and finds himself at the door of the practice room. He knows without entering that it’s Hoseok on the other side. Yoongi stands frozen on the outside, having a mental battle with himself about whether or not he should enter.

 

_Open the door you coward._

_No, he’s practicing._

 

_That is the lamest bullshit reason for not confronting what’s going on, and you know it Min Yoongi._

 

 _Shut the fuck up_ brain _, nobody asked for your opinion._

 

Yoongi can’t lie, he feels a little crazy right now. He knows that he should leave if he doesn't plan on entering the room, but he can’t make himself move. Everything inside the rapper is telling him to open the door and figure this out. But what if he doesn’t like the answer? It doesn’t matter because his hand reaches out and turns the knob, and as the door creaks open, Yoongi wonders if he’s about to make the worse mistake of his life.

 

*******

 

“You awake?” Jimin’s voice still holds remnants of sleep as he asks the question.

 

“Mmm,” Jungkook answers, not ready to be awake. They don’t usually have moments like this, where they can laze around and catch up on slumber, plus Jimin is warm and the bed is soft, and yeah, he’s not ready to wake up yet.

 

Jimin runs his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, “Get up you lazy brat,” he jokes.

 

“Just five more minutes hyung,” the younger man pleads.

 

“Oh, now you call me hyung,” Jimin laughs as he pulls the boy closer and allows Jungkook to sink into his skin.

 

They’ve always been like this. Him, Taehyung, and Jungkook, their friendship always blurring the line between close and intimate. It’s part of the reason Namjoon watches Taehyung like a hawk when he’s with either of the two younger boys, always afraid that the touching and unconscious flirting will lead to more. In their defense, the maknae line has never paid much attention to their actions, simply because they don’t realize what they’re doing.

 

They were kids when they joined this group, and they had no parents or family members around, so they found solace and comfort in each other. For the trio, touching, and hugging is just a natural expression of their friendship. So when Taehyung enters Jungkook’s room to see if he wants to play a game of Mario Cart and finds his two besties snuggled up and comfy, the only logical choice he can make is to join.

 

“Ouch Tae, that’s my stomach your knee just kicked,” Jimin says.

 

“Sorry,” Taehyung replies as he settles on the other side of the dancer.

 

“Is something wrong?” Taehyung asks, curious as to why the boys weren’t out doing things.

 

“Nah, just catching up on some sleep,” Jimin lifts his arm and allows Taehyung to snuggle closer to his body.

 

“You’re so warm Jiminnie,” Taehyung’s voice sounds raspy, and Jimin’s heat encompasses the slightly younger man like a warm blanket on a cold day.

 

“Mmm,” Jimin eyes begin to falter again. Squished in between Taehyung and Jungkook has always been his favorite way to fall asleep, and although he wants to wake up and go visit Hoseok in the studio and maybe touch the older man some more, he can’t fight the drowsiness that is taking over. So he answers Jungkook’s (who has long since fallen back asleep) question, “Okay five more minutes.”

 

Namjoon is not jealous by nature, but he has always been careful. So when Taehyung’s been gone for more than twenty minutes after stating that he’s gonna go find Kookie and see if he wants to play a game, he goes in search of the younger man. What he finds is confusing, because should he like the sight this much? Currently, his boyfriend is the second slice of bread in a Jimin sandwich. The three boys are sound asleep and stacked against each other like a human Lego creation.

 

The maknae line has been somewhat of a sexual frustration thorn in the flesh of the older members. The younger boys don’t realize their appeal, and being on the road, with close to no access to anything of the opposite, well it creates needs. And Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin’s close, close, closeness does things to the older boys that they can’t explain. It’s why Yoongi and Hoseok are having such a hard time emotionally figuring out what they want, and why Seokjin has been hitting the gym harder than ever.

 

Namjoon walks to the edge of the bed, and contemplates waking Taehyung up, but the boy looks so serene and God knows Namjoon didn’t let the young man sleep much last night. So instead, the leader leans down and kisses the boy on his forehead, pulling the covers up over the three boys before leaving the room. His heart constricts at the sight because it worries him, scares him rather, that one day the three will realize that what they have isn’t just a close friendship – he hopes they never figure out that it’s so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy update day! I can almost hear the gasps, so yes lots of interesting transitions happening. But I swear it will pan out well. Sometimes we don't realize what we have in front of us because we are too busy looking for something else, and on the flip-side sometimes it takes realizing all you have to figure out what you really want. 
> 
> As always let me know what you think (but be nice... lol)
> 
> Happy Reading
> 
> Lulu


	16. What If You're NOT The What If

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi walks through the door... and Hoseok's walls start to crack.  
> And yes it is still a Sugakookie.
> 
> Also, I just started a Tumblr (I know welcome to society), I haven't done much yet but follow me, ask questions tell me to update... lol https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lulublu1014. You can also follow me on twitter @lsgrlr. I haven't been as active I want to, but I want to communicate with you guys so follow me, let's hang (do people even say that... sigh).

Yoongi didn’t know what to expect when he opened the door, but a panting Hoseok drenched in sweat with skin tinted a beautiful shade of red was the furthest thing his mind could have thought of. Although given the fact that the dancer has probably been practicing for hours now, it should have been the rapper’s first thought, and Yoongi should have walked in prepared. Honestly, hell, he shouldn’t have walked in at all, but since he did, he should have known what to expect. The fact that his breath hitched in his throat and his mind went completely blank at the sight of the dancer is proof of his complete lack of foresight.

 

Hoseok wasn’t expecting visitors. People know better than to disturb him when he’s practicing, but when his eyes fall on Yoongi, his surprise is greater. He knows that Yoongi is just like him when it comes to time spent on perfecting their craft; just as obsessive about not being disturbed. Hoseok swallows hard because Yoongi being here can only mean one thing—

 

_Did he finally make a decision?_

 

“Hyung,” Hoseok states, but it’s more of a question as he looks at the man quizzically.

 

Yoongi swallows hard, trying to unblock his suddenly tightening throat. He’s not sure where all his salvia has gone, because his mouth currently feels like the Sahara desert - not an ounce of liquid in sight.

 

“Uhm,” Yoongi manages to scratch out.

 

The rapper runs his hand through his hair then rubs the back of his neck. Before opening the door, he’d known what he wanted to do, what he wanted to say – but right now he's at a total loss for words, “I thought we could, I mean -- should, you know – talk, maybe.”

_Smooth Min Yoongi, smooth – just like butter._

 

The man berates himself. The thing is Yoongi can’t be blamed for his reaction and lack of swag, because Hoseok is the sexiest and the most breathtaking after dancing, _fuck who am I kidding_ \-- he's gorgeous _during_ dancing as well. When dancing, the younger man is like a musical God that becomes one with the beat and rhythm. Hoseok’s body becomes fluid and languid, flowing like an untamed river, inviting all who watch to drown his depths.

 

But after dancing, _after dancing_ , fuck – Hoseok's skin is flushed from adrenaline, sweat dripping and causing clothing to stick, outlining Hoseok’s toned and muscular frame; it’s all too much for Yoongi to take in. However, it’s the way that Hoseok stands there, panting as he tries to catch his breath, with questioning innocent eyes, not understanding that at this moment he is the living definition of the phrase, 'sex on two legs' - this is what has Yoongi fighting to make his brain work.

 

“Talk? About what?” Hoseok eyes Yoongi suspiciously. The older man is staring at him so hard that Hoseok feels bare, almost naked. Yoongi’s glare is so intense that Hoseok looks down just to verify that he’s still dressed.

 

The older of the two is having trouble remembering why he walked through the doors, he’s having trouble with a lot of things really. As he looks at Hoseok, he wonders _when did it all become so complicated?_ It wasn’t long ago that his only problem was writing lyrics and producing a song that he was satisfied with. Then Jungkook started to grow up and _fuck if that didn’t happen out of nowhere_. The extra muscles, bunny smiles, coupled with the youngest's personality did a number on Yoongi’s emotions -- leaving the man at a loss for how to handle his growing (possibly perverted) attraction.

 

Spending time with Jungkook had only strengthened what he felt and showed Yoongi that maybe his feelings weren’t as perverted as he previously believed. Namjoon had convinced him to make a move on the youngest man, and he was prepared to do so. But then Hoseok hugged him, tight, and threw a monkey wrench in, disrupting Yoongi’s perfectly constructed plan.

 

“I don’t know,” Yoongi says, his voice exasperated, “I am so fucking confused right now.” Yoongi’s voice cracks with honesty and Hoseok takes a deep breath.

 

It’s been a while since Yoongi has said exactly what he feels and Hoseok is thankful to be able to hear it. He knows that the older man is confused and that it’s not Yoongi’s personality to leave things undone, but emotions are hard to get under control. He gives Yoongi a smile.

 

“I know hyung,” Hoseok says as he walks towards Yoongi. “I think deep down you know what it is that you really want. But I also believe you’re afraid of what you have to let go of to get it.”

 

Yoongi stands quietly for a moment, letting what the dancer said sink in. He hadn’t thought about his current plight in that manner before.

 

_Did he know what he wanted? Is he really just afraid to let go?_

 

Yoongi wonders if maybe Hoseok is right. Could it be that his indecisiveness is not for lack of an answer? Maybe it really was because making a decision meant he had to let go of something he’s been holding on to, and maybe the issue is that he isn’t ready to let go - maybe he just doesn’t like his answer.

 

“It'd be hard you know, letting go of this - of you,” Yoongi says solemnly, the words coming out on their own.

 

“I know. For me too, but I don’t want to be the fall back anymore. I want more hyung, more than you want to give.” Hoseok’s voice is soft but stern, "to me, at least.”

 

Yoongi sighs. It’s true, his relationship with the younger man has always been somewhat selfish. The thing is that Hoseok knows exactly how to make him feel better -- how to make him feel important. The dancer makes Yoongi feel like he matters when his world is at its most inconsequential. Hoseok is like a supersaturated cloud of rainbows and sunshine filling the pool of Yoongi’s life with joy, and, no, he is not ready to let go of that.

 

Yoongi starts slowly, “Maybe you’re right, maybe I do know. But what if you’re wrong about the who? What if you’re not the fallback, what if you’re the choice? What if you’re what I want and everything else is what I’m afraid to let go of?” Yoongi asks, the question is to him as much as it's to Hoseok.

 

Hoseok stands still. At the beginning of all this, the words coming out of Yoongi’s mouth were what he wanted to hear -- what he prayed to hear. But now, now he’s not sure. He still loves the older man, he always will. Yoongi allowed him to find himself, to explore without fear that part of himself that needed to give love. However, now, now he wants someone who would be able to love him back.

 

“Why now?” Hoseok asks.

 

The question is simple, no fanfare, no deeper meaning, just straight and to the point. Yet, for Yoongi, there is no simple answer. Why now indeed? He’s been given millions of chances, millions of opportunities. Hoseok had left the door to his heart open for years, just waiting for Yoongi to enter but the older man never did.

 

“Honestly,” Yoongi sighs, "I don’t know. It’s weird in a way, I may have taken a lot for granted when it came to you, Hope. But to be completely truthful, I never once pictured my life without you in it. I don’t know if it’s Iove or selfishness, or just another way in which I take you for granted. A big part of my world spins because of you. Your dopey smiles and infectious personality, that hand on my back at just the right time – I’m not sure you’re the thing to let go.”

 

They stand still for a while, absorbing the words. Yoongi feels awkward, he’s not good with emotions, which is ironic since his passion is to write music that elicits emotional reactions. Hoseok studies the rapper’s face. Yoongi looks completely lost and Hoseok’s heart clenches, he hates that Yoongi still has such an emotional hold on him. He hates that his resolve feels like it’s breaking and Yoongi hasn’t even given a real answer. He hasn’t said that Hoseok was the one, just “what if.”

 

“What do you want Yoongi? What do you want to hear me say?” Hoseok emotional reserves are toppling and he wants to say everything in his heart, yet he can find no real words to express them. He speaks anyway, “I waited patiently for you, never complaining hyung, not once. I watched you date other people then let you crawl into my bed. I stayed up with you when you were sick, and when you needed company in the studio. I have moved mountains just to spend a second, a moment, with you hyung, but you’ve never done that for me.” Hoseok feels the tears stinging his eyes, but he doesn’t want to cry, he doesn’t want to feel weak. But, the Yoongi-effect gets the better of him. “I love you hyung, but I don’t want to be a “what if,” not for you -- not for anyone.”

 

The dancer turns to pick up his bag from the floor, he needs to leave and get out before Yoongi causes any more cracks in his already damaged armor. Hoseok tries to pass by the rapper as quickly as possible, he has no more words to say and right now, his emotions are everywhere. Part of him wants to run as far away from Yoongi’s words as possible, while the other part wants to stay and hold them as hope.

 

Hoseok makes his move past Yoongi, and the older is too shocked to react. The dancer breaths a sigh of relief when his hand is on the knob of the door and he is pulling the structure open, but when a hand comes from behind him and pushes it shut again, Hoseok knows without even turning around, Yoongi is about to smash all his walls to bits. The words that fall from the older man’s mouth have Hoseok unable to move.

 

“You’re not a what if.”

 

**Yoongi - 1**

**Hoseok’s resolve - 0**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Walls are crumbling and the Yoongi is getting closer and closer to being honest with himself. So, before you decide to kill me, this story is about human nature and our fear of losing things. Often when we think we have to give something up we try holding it tighter. Yoongi knows he has to let someone go, but he's scared. He's not a bad guy he's just human. Okay with that being said please comment, let me know what you think.
> 
> Happy Reading  
> Lulu


	17. Love, Confusion, And The Importance Of Learning To Knock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin gives Jungkook some sage advice  
> Yoongi ponders love and lust  
> And Jimin learns why knocking is important

**JUNGKOOK**

The youngest may be seen as the golden maknae, the perfect one, the ‘he-who-can-do-no-wrong’ figure by the media and fans, but Jungkook knows the truth; he feels insecure most of the time, and is always acutely aware of his fears (Yoongi...Yoongi is a fear). Bangtan has been Jungkook’s home for a large portion of his childhood, each member pouring a bit of themselves into him as he grew up, he sitting in the living room in early in the morning reflecting on what he’s learned.

 

Namjoon has taught him the importance of words, taught him when to speak and when to be quiet. Jin has taught him the importance of patience and letting people grow and change, and Jungkook smiles as he thinks about the older man’s motherly ways. Hoseok has taught him to smile, through good times and bad. A smile can change the course of a day and Hoseok’s smile has turned clouds into sunshine for Jungkook on many occasions. Taehyung and Jimin are his family, his closest companions. They’re like his own skin, a second part of himself that Jungkook would definitely be incomplete without.

 

Yoongi.

 

_Yoongi._

 

His mind falters at the man’s name. What has he taught him? It’s not so much about what he has learned from Yoongi, it’s more a matter of how the man’s presence affects him. Yoongi is like a sweet-smelling aroma that infiltrates every one of Jungkook’s senses, Yoongi’s aura permeates and pulses through him and try as he might, he can do nothing to keep from falling under the man’s spell. Yoongi’s voice is music to his ears, and Yoongi’s gummy smile brings out his own smile (even when he doesn’t want it to) and it really is a little frustrating.

Yoongi makes him feel things, things that he doesn’t understand; things he is not sure he is ready for. Jungkook is both his most bold and his most timid self around the older man, and the emotions that Yoongi evokes inside him are confusing and exciting. As he stares out the window of the dorm, he realizes what he’s learned (or more precisely is still learning from the rapper). Yoongi, Yoongi has taught, and is still teaching him about falling in love.

 

Jungkook can’t explain how he knows he’s in love. There is no tangible marker that he can point to. He can’t tell anyone the moment that Yoongi stole his heart like a burgular or a bandit. But he knows one thing for sure, which is that Min Yoongi is the sole owner of the way his heart beats.

Yes, from Yoongi he’s learning about love. He’s learning that love can be painful like an open sore that continually bleeding. He’s also learned that love can be healing, like medicine given at just the right time. But right now he’s learning that love is confusing, scary, and exciting because he feels all those emotions when he thinks about Min Yoongi.

 

As he sits in the quiet Jungkook can’t help but wonder if the older man will also be the one that teaches him about heartbreak.

 

“What’ya doing up so early?” Jin’s voice brings Jungkook out of his mind and back to the dorm

 

“Just thinking.”

 

They stay quiet for a while until Jin breaks the silence.

 

“About what?”

 

“All of you actually, and what I’ve learned from you all. You’re my family, probably even more so than my actual family, you know?” Jungkook’s not really a snuggler by nature (unless Jimin and Taehyung are around) but right now his emotions are full and Jin’s shoulder is broad enough to carry them, so he lays his head against Jin.

 

“Mmm, you mean things like how to blow up the kitchen and how to dance like a robot?” He smiles at Jin’s words.

 

“Nah, hyung those are examples of what not to do. I mean things like listening, being there for others, and honesty. Things that I was never really good at.”

 

“You makes us proud every day; you know that right? I think that out of all the groups out there, we have the best maknae, and not because you’re good at everything, but because you are you.”

 

Jungkook feels warm inside, Jin has always had that effect on him. It’s reminiscent of his younger self sitting on his mother’s lap, he felt the same satisfaction and contentment then as he feels with Jin now.

 

“Hyung, what exactly is love? I mean how do you, you know – how do you know if you’re in love?” He can feel the tips of his ears getting red and he’s happy that Jin can’t see it happening from this position.

 

“That’s hard to answer Kookie,” Jin absentmindedly swipes his fingers through Jungkook’s bangs, and Jungkook sinks deeper into Jin’s shoulder, draping his hand across the man’s abdomen and enjoying the comfort, “Love is different for everyone, and often times we mistake it for other things.”

 

“Things like what?”

 

“Like attraction, or gratefulness. We equate feelings and emotions with love. While love is a noun, people forget it’s a verb too. It’s not a thing like a table or a chair, it’s not stagnant and immovable. Love is forever growing and changing. Love can make us both happy and sad. It can build us up and break us down. But most of the time, we only see it as butterflies in our stomach or the sweaty palms we get when the object of our affection is around.” Jin words make sense. Jungkook has never thought about love on its own merits before, he’s always associated it with a sensation or a feeling.

 

“So then butterflies and sweaty palms don’t necessarily mean love?” He’s unsure he phrased the question right.

 

“No, that’s attraction. Love, Jungkook, love is what happens when attraction ends.”

 

**YOONGI**

Yoongi has been standing at the entrance to the living room for a while. He’d gotten up early as well, and was on his way to the kitchen when he heard Jungkook and Jin talking. He would have ignored them (he’s pretty good at ignoring), but when Jungkook asked Jin about love, well, curiosity got the better of him.

 

Jin’s last statement resounds in his head like a clanging symbol.

 

_Love is what happens when attraction ends._

 

A part of Yoongi has always known this. He’s an adult for crying out loud, of course, he knows that love is not just the mushy stuff. But he’s never paid much attention to anything beyond the emotions or the feelings, because if he’s honest with himself, butterflies, sweating palms, and that feeling of wanting and being wanted are the most addicting things in the world.

 

He thinks about Hoseok and the day in the dance studio when he held the man back from leaving. The day when his fingers outlined the structure of Hoseok’s jaw and his mind wondered if it had always been that sharp. The day when he kissed Hoseok and it wasn’t just raw want or erotic desire. The day when Hoseok pulled away with hurt and pain in his eyes and said, “Stop playing with me Hyung. Stop confusing me, and make up your mind.” The day when Hoseok walked out and took a part of Yoongi with him.

 

And again, Jin’s words play in his mind.

 

_Love is what happens when attraction ends._

 

**HOSEOK**

Hoseok’s in the bathroom room, hiding. He's been avoiding Yoongi since the day in the practice room. Hell, he’s been avoiding every human he knows. His mind hurts, and he can’t deal with the longing looks that Jimin has been sending his way, his silent pleas for Hoseok to give him answers and let him know where he stands. It hurts because he wants answers too. He’s not one to lead people on or string them along (no that’s Yoongi’s MO). But he can’t bring himself to give Jimin an answer, because… because he honestly doesn’t know what the answer is.

 

Jimin had opened a new world for him, had made him realize that he could feel things for other people, that he was worth enough to be first place in someone’s heart. But Yoongi, Yoongi is like a trap with cheese and Hoseok feels like a mouse continually being caught in it. He turns around and faces the sink, turning on the cold water. He lets it run for a bit and watches with odd curiosity as the liquid swirls around the drain before ultimately disappearing. He thinks to himself how lucky the fluid is for having a means of escape, for not being trapped in the basin. He splashes the water on his face and lets the coolness sink in. It’s refreshing and he repeats the actions trying to dampen the hot clouds in his brain.

 

Yoongi had kissed him that day. He had promised himself that he wasn’t going to give in, but Yoongi’s words and Yoongi’s presence had broken his resolve. That’s a lie, he laughs to himself. He had no resolve, he never does when it comes to the older man. He hates that, he hates how easy it is for Yoongi to break him and get under his skin. He hates how easily Yoongi can make him feel, make him want.

 

He turns off the faucet and turns to leave when the door opens. Jimin is standing there, still half asleep. The younger man hasn’t noticed him and Hoseok takes a moment to look. Jimin’s skin still has a red hue from sleep and creases from the pillow mark his cheeks. Jimin has always been beautiful, there’s an innocence that the boy carries that Hoseok finds endearing. Jimin stretches and Hoseok can’t help the laugh that escapes.

 

“Hyung!” Jimin’s eyes are wide with shock.

 

“You really should learn to knock. What if I was naked?” Hoseok teases, enjoying the brief escape from all that had been bothering.

 

Jimin flushes red and Hoseok continues to play.

 

“Or worse what if I was, you know, releasing stress?” He walks towards Jimin slowly, totally enjoying all the emotions playing across the boy’s features; confusion then understanding, followed closely by embarrassment as Jimin somehow manages to turn a deeper shade of red than before.

 

And Hoseok knows.

 

He is very, very aware that what’s crossing his mind right now is the wrong choice. He is very aware that what he is about to do is unfair and cruel. He is also aware that Jimin deserves more, is worth more – but Jimin had walked in without knocking, and he came in looking like every wet dream Hoseok’s ever had. And Yoongi has him messed up and needy, and Jimin’s skin look warm and inviting and _this is the wrong choice, a bad decision_.

 

And Hoseok doesn’t care.

 

He stops in front of Jimin and pushes the door shut and turns the lock. He hears Jimin breath hitch, they’re that close. His hand trails down Jimin’s arm and he leans in and whispers, “You really should have knocked.”

 

**JIMIN**

He’s up way too early, probably because Taehyung has taken up a majority of the space on his bed. _When did he crawl into bed with me?_ This question has no answer, not when it came to Taehyung nor Jungkook. Jimin often wakes up to find himself sandwiched between the two, or pushed into the wall (like now) by one of the two boys. He doesn’t complain, he never does, because he has on more than one occasion ended up in their beds as well.

 

He sits up and stretches before crawling over Taehyung and getting out of the bed. He needs to pee. He’s still tired and can’t wait to get back in bed, snuggle up to Taehyung and fall back to sleep. His sleep last night was restless because thoughts of Hoseok (who has been avoiding him), consumed his mind. He wonders what he has done wrong. He sighs as he walks into the bathroom.

The light is on, and it’s bright. He closes his eyes and wonders if he can just feel his way around the room. He stretches and nearly faints when he opens his eyes to find Hoseok staring back at him.

 

“Hyung!” He can feel his ears turning red.

 

“You really should learn to knock. What if I was naked?”

 

Hoseok words find him blushing deeper, but not because he’s embarrassed, but at how happy he would be to see Hoseok naked.

 

“Or worse, what if I was, you know, releasing stress?”

 

Jimin’s mind goes insane, Hoseok touching himself, _fuck_.

 

He should speak, should tell Hoseok that he’d be okay with either of those things happening, but he can’t open his mouth because Hoseok is walking towards him slowly with a look in his eyes that makes Jimin feel like prey. The look is hungry and needy, and Jimin wants to supply whatever it is Hoseok is lacking. He wants to crawl into the Hoseok’s empty spaces and fill them up with himself.

 

His heart beat triples when Hoseok stops directly in front of him, their toes touching, before the older boy leans over to lock the door. He shudders as Hoseok’s fingers trail down his arm leaving goosebumps in their wake. _Hyung_ his mind moans. Jimin feels off balance like a scale with too much on one side. _Hyung_ , his mind is screaming it now and he wonders why he can’t turn his thoughts into actual words.

 

“You really should have knocked.” Hoseok’s breath is warm on his neck and the heat seeps through his skin and burns him from the inside out.

 

This time, the word does come out.

 

“Hyu-”

 

But Hoseok swallows it.

 

And Jimin doesn’t mind at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's some clarification. You may have noticed my writing style is slowly changing, this is due to the fact that I have been plotting stories with more detail. As such, this story has grown in depth. This chapter gives us a clearer stance on everyone's emotion but will also be a shifting point. Confusion abounds all around and the only one really certain about his feelings is Jungkook. 
> 
> Also, to the reader who asked for a longer chapter, this is over 2k long (ask and you shall receive :D). Chapters will probably be running longer from now on, tho... Yay!
> 
> As always let me know what you think by kudoing (


	18. Lost Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He licks into Jimin’s mouth, and he knows, knows he shouldn’t want this as much as he does, shouldn’t like this as much as he does. But he’s hungry and wants to be fed, and Jimin is the best meal he’s had in what feels like forever.
> 
> Or
> 
> The moment lost stars begin to align.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update. I feel super guilty, but I needed time to work the details out, this story was getting out of hand. Hope you enjoy the update.
> 
> Also, a big thank you to the amazing Bug for talking me through this story, giving me ideas and pushing me in the right direction. As if that wasn't enough she then took the time to English it so you guys could enjoy it, she's a saint. 
> 
> All hail the Bug

He licks into Jimin’s mouth and he knows, _knows_ he shouldn’t want this as much as he does, shouldn’t like this as much as he does. But he’s hungry and wants to be fed, and Jimin is the best meal he’s had in what feels like forever. Jimin’s taste reminds Hoseok of the moment just before the sun breaks across the horizon, the moment that no one talks about because it’s a secret, it belongs to the universe, to the unseen and the unknown. Jimin tastes like a mystery, one that Hoseok wants to solve. Hurt, he’s hurting so bad, and Jimin’s like a salve soothing the wounds that cover his soul. Jimin pushes into him surrendering without so much as a fight, and he knows he should be protecting the younger, not taking what doesn’t really belong to him.

“Hyung.” The word is a whisper, a breath they’re sharing. To Hoseok there’s a statement behind the word, permission being granted with the word, lives being changed by the utterance of that one word.

Guilt is slow moving and while Hoseok senses it, it’s overshadowed by the heat of Jimin and the tiny sighs of content that escape the boy’s lips even now. The guilt is pushed down and trampled by want and desire and wetwetwet tongues folding into each other. The air is charged, too charged, like a down wire in the road, one that looks innocent but if touched will electrocute leading to certain death.

Jimin rolls against him and there’s no question what the boy wants, what he’s after. Teeth bite into his bottom lip, and it’s a demand. Jimin’s yelling at him without words, yet just as loud as though the younger man were screaming through a megaphone telling Hoseok what he desires.

Briefly, Hoseok’s brain makes a comeback.

“Jimin – shit,” but Jimin keens into him and his brain waivers in its resolve. “We need to stop,” he manages, but it’s too late, way too late.

Jimin is a violent wind storm, and Hoseok is a tiny grain of sand swirling in the boy’s powerful gusts. He’s already lost. He realizes as he licks deeper into Jimin’s sweet, sweet mouth, as he moves them from the door to the wall -- as he hitches Jimin’s toned thigh at his hip, as he gyrates against the younger man adding steps to their erotic dance, that the moment his lips touched Jimin’s he didn’t stand a chance.

 

֎֎֎

 

Jin’s words have Yoongi’s mind swirling like a whirlwind or tornado, jumbling his thoughts, flinging his emotions to and fro like a yo-yo. Love and attraction have always been a bit synonymous in his world, or more precisely he’s always thought you need one to achieve the other. So for Jin to say one can be mistaken for the other has him on edge and frankly a bit confused.

He has too much to deal with, such as Hoseok’s recent disappearing act (he has no time for Jin and his words of wisdom). The dancer has been avoiding him with the skill of a vanishing Houdini since the day in the practice room, a day that Yoongi’s unable to stop thinking about and replays in his mind.

 

_“_ _You’re not a what if.” The words are true, Hoseok’s never been a what if. His feelings for the man are very real. Hoseok has shaken his soul on more than one occasion. He’s most definitely not a what if._

_Barely, he barely touches him and yet Hoseok is pinned to the door and Yoongi is pushed into the man, and he doesn’t remember doing it, doesn’t remember any of these moments, but one. Hoseok’s hands are on his chest, and he’s not sure if the man is pushing trying to get him off or if they’re just resting there needing a place to stay. He doesn’t know and doesn’t care. Hoseok’s so fucking close, and his skin is so lovely and soft and alluring, and he needs to touch, just feel--nothing more. He tells himself he won’t take it too far, won’t hurt Hoseok anymore._

_He lies._

_Touching turns to tasting, to pulling and pushing. Tasting turns to choked noises and static groans, to moving in unison. Moving becomes sweaty bodies and heavy breathing until finally the stars and the moon collide into each other and combust, filling the world with warmth. Warmth leads to eyes that look at him in broken defeat, and it pierces his heart like ninja swords shredding his soul._

“Fuck.” Guilt has the expletive coming out before he can stop it.

“Did the hallway commit some sort of crime that has you cursing at it?” Jin’s voice is a cross between humor and worry, and Yoongi wonders how the man manages that balance.

His hand rubs against his forehead trying to erase the memory, pushing it back, wishing it hadn’t happened, wishing he didn’t wish it would happen again.

“Yes. It has. I’m quite offended at its length, especially at night when I need to get to the bathroom.” Yoongi tries to deflect, tries to hide the torment, tries to keep his gaze down away from Jin’s laser-sharp stare.

It doesn’t work. It never works. Jin has mother-like intuition.

“So what you’re saying is something’s eating at you, and you’re taking it out on an innocent hallway?” The statement ends with a question mark, but Yoongi knows the man is stating a fact. “Let’s chat.”

Another non-question and Yoongi follows without a fight as Jin leads him to his room.

“Sit,” the older boy commands and Yoongi once again obeys. “Spill.”

“Huh?” Many things that have happened in the last two and a half weeks and Yoongi’s not sure what he should confess to.

“Yoongi I know something is going on. You might as well tell me. It’ll make it easier. Do you really want me to start probing?” No, he doesn’t. Confession means he controls how much Jin learns.

He takes a deep breath and considers each word carefully before letting them fall out of his mouth.

“It started a couple weeks ago when there was a kind of rising tension between Jungkook and I. Uhmm, and Hoseok and I.”

“Hoseok and Jungkook and you?” He can tell that Jin’s not completely grasping the picture, he doesn’t clarify. He knows the puzzle will start coming together for the older boy shortly. “Wait. You and Jungkook and you and Hoseok? What the fuck Yoongi? They’re both younger than you, especially Jungkook. He’s barely legal.”

“I know. I know. God, I know.” He’s always been aware of the extreme fucked-up-ness of the situation on some level, one pushed deep down in his subconscious where he didn’t have to see it. But there’s no running now that the error of his decisions is looking back at him from Jin’s too-pretty-to-be-a-dude features. “Jimin found out somehow and came up with an idea for me to date each of them for a month and then choose the one I want.”

“They’re not fruit Yoongi, you don’t get to compare and then choose the ripest.”

“It’s not what I’m doing, I swear. I-I, damn it! It’s all just fucking screwed up and out of control, and I have no idea how to get it back to normal. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want them both because I do.” He said too much he knows but fuck it, he needs advice.

Jin doesn’t say anything right away and Yoongi can see the wheels in the man’s brain churning. The older boy takes a deep breath.

“You can’t toy with them. You know that, right?” Jin’s eyes are searching, not condemning, and yet he still feels like a criminal sitting before a judge

“I’m not hyung, or at least it’s not what I’m trying to do. Everyone sees me as the bad guy in this, a player trying to have his cake and eat it too,” (he still wants to know where this saying came from).

“But I’m confused too, I feel just as much as Jungkook and Hoseok.” He’s had it, and he breaks. “I’m tired of being made to feel bad for this, like I made a plan to start this, to toy with them. I fucking didn’t, okay?” His voice is loud, too loud, but his emotions are shaking. His whole world is on its head. He’s fucking confused, just as confused and hurt as everyone else in this goddamn stupid soap opera that he didn’t audition for.

“I’m not saying you did Yoongi. I know you. I know you’d never intentionally lead anyone on. But Jungkook’s pretty gone. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he looks at you…and Hoseok,” Jin pauses, “I haven’t seen him, really seen him in days. The only reason I know he’s here is by the empty plates he leaves for food I’ve placed by his door. This can’t go on. We need a resolution and fast, because if this continues it will affect the entire band.”

“Don’t you think I know that hyung? You all are the only family I have, and I feel like I’m single-handedly destroying it. I just don’t know what to do.” It’s a silent plea for Jin to give the answers like he always does, like he always will. Except this (even he knows) can only be answered by him.

“I know Yoongi. I’m sorry if you feel like I’m making you the bad guy in this. I don’t see you as the perpetrator of a crime at all. I know this is hard for you, and if I knew what the right answer or who the right person was I’d tell you. What I do know is that it’s stupid early in the morning, and none of us should be awake seeing as how we finally have a day off. Wanna stay here and rest? The least I can do is offer free cuddles after therapy.” Yoongi smiles and nods.

He’s not clingy in the least but Jin is warm and safe, and he feels cold and insecure. The bed is small but they manage to both fit, and it’s the most comforted Yoongi has felt in what feels like years. He burrows into Jin’s sturdy chest and sighs in contentment as sleep finally overtakes him. Decisions are hard, especially ones that can change the course of your life, but he will make a choice, and hopefully it will be the right one.

 

֎֎֎

 

Jungkook wakes up to the sound of Yoongi’s voice. He hears the tail end of Yoongi’s rant. He feels guilty, thinking had he not had feelings for the older man maybe Yoongi wouldn’t be feeling this way. He’s lost in thought when Taehyung crawls into bed with him.

“Jimin disappeared, and his bed is cold with no one in it. Can I sleep here?” He’s not sure why Taehyung asked since he’s already under the covers and snuggling into Jungkook’s chest.  
Taehyung is warm and soft, and he inhales his friend’s scent.

“Hyung?”

“Mmm.” Taehyung replies sleepily.  
“Do you think that something you think is love can be something else, something that looks like love but isn’t?” He’s reminded of his conversation with Jin.

“Dunno, really. I feel like you know love when it hits you. Like you can’t avoid it, you know? No matter how hard you try to run from it, it catches you.” Taehyung looks up, “Why’d you ask?”

“Just thinking about some stuff that Jin hyung said to me yesterday. Love is kind of confusing don’t you think, hyung?”

“Maybe, but probably because there are so many forms of it,” Taehyung says thoughtfully.

“Many forms? I thought love was just love.” Jungkook feels a headache coming on.

“Yes and no.”

“I don’t understand.” Yup, a headache.

“Hmmm,” Taehyung says and scrunches his face. “You love me right, and Jimin?”

“Yes, of course,” he answers without hesitation.

Taehyung smiles, “Good, you better, brat. Anyway, that’s one form of love: friendship. Well, for us it’s more like a brotherhood. Then there’s romantic love, and love you have for family, and love you have for pets and things. I think the real trick is figuring which form of love you’re experiencing.”

Jungkook thinks that maybe love is way more complicated than just wanting to be with someone all the time and missing them like your world is ending when they’re not around. That’s always been his litmus test, and he wonders if maybe he’s been a little too naive. Taehyung falls asleep, and Jungkook follows soon after, dragged into slumber by Taehyung’s even breathing and comfy blanket-like closeness. He still has questions, but he has the rest of the day to find answers.

 

֎֎֎

 

Yoongi wakes up suddenly, his bladder crying out for attention. He untangles himself from Jin’s grasp to sit up in the bed. He uses the back of his hand to rub his eyes, trying to clear the cobwebs so he can make it to the bathroom on the first try. He gets up slowly and takes a moment to steady himself before walking.

The bathroom door is locked when he gets to it, but he’s not deterred. It’s an ordinary event. Namjoon broke the lock when they first moved in, causing it to close on its own at random times. They’ve all become experts at jimmying it open. He wrangles the knob till it gives way under his grasp. The door swings open, and he walks in and immediately stops.

He can’t breathe.

His brain breaks.

His world breaks.

Hoseok has Jimin pinned against a wall (he almost opened the door into them). He watches in horror as Hoseok’s hand slides down, down, down, until it’s pushing into the waistband of Jimin’s sleep pants, and Yoongi swears he’s a participant in the ice bucket challenge. His insides are frozen like a tundra in the middle of a raging snowstorm. But when he locks eyes with Jimin and the boy doesn’t move, doesn’t flinch, doesn’t stop moaning wantonly into Hoseok’s mouth, Jimin’s gaze becomes the sledgehammer that shatters Yoongi’s ice cold world into a million pieces.

He stumbles out of the bathroom as though pushed by an invisible force. Yoongi’s stunned. He wonders if this is how war survivors feel, like they’re having an out of body experience and nothing makes sense. He continues to walk backwards, staring at the entrance to the bathroom, hoping it’s all just a dream. He hears the tiny “oomph” before he actually sees the boy. He turns and comes face to face with Jungkook. The boy is rubbing his eyes, trying to focus on what just happened. Yoongi’s emotions are swaying like a ship caught in storm, and he needs to be steadied and Jungkook’s right there, right within reach, an anchor. Yoongi closes the distance… with his lips.

 

 

*******A/N*******

Hey y'all come chat me up [here](lulublu1014.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. I hope you guys enjoy the update. Tell me what you think. 
> 
> Happy reading,  
> Lulu


	19. Hello, Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his darkest moment. Yoongi sees the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, yes. It is a miracle. Sorry for the wait guys, and thank you so much for sticking around. I promise not to quit stories, so please continue to be patient with me. 
> 
> As always thank you to the AMAZING Bug, for making what I write readable.

It’s been a full day, twenty-four hours of hurting, one thousand four hundred and forty minutes of anger, followed by self-pity, then back to anger. Yoongi hates the emotional roller coaster. He wants off this ride. Nothing has worked to make him forget, to wipe his memory clean, and he’s tried everything to erase from his mind the vision of Hoseok’s body pressed into Jimin’s. It’s not the only image he wants to delete; he also can’t forget the tremble of Jungkook’s lips against his own or the look of absolute astonishment on the boy’s face when Yoongi abruptly ended the kiss, cracking under the guilt of his actions.

Confusion surrounds him on every side. It’s a sea he is drowning in. Normally Min Yoongi proceeds slowly, cautiously, but his feelings for Jungkook had impacted him like a bullet, hard and fast. He didn’t have time to consider the next steps, and yes, maybe he makes bad choices when it comes to handling his feelings. How Hoseok ended up being the straw that broke the camel’s back is beyond Yoongi. They’ve always had a comfortable relationship, he’s always known he could count on the dancer in a pinch, in a moment of desperation or need. He could fall into Hoseok’s arms and find solace.  _ But is it love? Is this need to make Hoseok pay, love? _

Yoongi doesn’t know, he doesn’t, but today, before the day ends, he’ll have his answer.

Determined steps carry him down the hall, and trembling fingers knock on Hoseok’s door. He just wants answers, wants to know where he stands, where they stand. The argument is heated with angry words flying in every direction like missiles of mass destruction. Bombs of rage explode in the air, and the shrapnel of their sharp words cause wounds deep beneath the skin. 

Freedom to say what they want is granted, and the war is loud and shameless as they are the only ones home. Maybe the moment was fated to happen, both of them telling their manager they were ill when he came to check on them in the morning. Maybe they planned it unknowingly, their subconsciouses somehow connecting. Maybe, just maybe.

Whatever the reason, as Yoongi pushes Hoseok against the wall, pressing his body against the man to keep him there in an effort to gain the upper hand in the battle, he decides he doesn’t care. Like this, with Hoseok pinned in front of him, images of Hoseok pushing into Jimin fill his head, and Yoongi sees red.

“Did you like it?” He bites out, spreading Hoseok’s legs apart with his thigh, making sure his knee lies flat against the dancer’s crotch.

“Like what? Get the fuck off me!” Hoseok spits out, his hands braced on Yoongi’s chest, trying to push the man off even as his body unwittingly responds to Yoongi’s nearness. Yoongi doesn’t miss the twitch of the man’s cock against his leg.

“Pushing people into walls, do you like it? Tell me, is it better being the pusher or the pushee?” Yoongi asks, knocking Hoseok’s arm off his chest and presses himself flush against the man. A choked sound, like a desperate whine, escapes Hoseok’s lips, and Yoongi smirks as he licks a spit-slicked stripe along the man’s neck.

“Does he get you hard this quickly, Hope?” He drops his voice purposefully, enjoying the tremor that rocks Hoseok’s body.

“What the fuck does it matter to you if he does?”

Hoseok is right of course, it shouldn’t matter, but it does. It’s wrong. It’s all wrong, what he’s doing. This wasn’t the plan, but they’re fighting, and it’s raw and emotional and fuck if Hoseok isn’t the most beautiful when he’s angry, when he spits out words with venom and passion. Yoongi’s never been one to back down from a fight. He’s fought his whole life to get what he wants. He can’t back down. He won’t. He doesn’t know how. Retaliation, pushing back, pressing in, Yoongi knows how to fight dirty, and it works.

Now it’s Hoseok falling limp against him, Hoseok’s lips falling open hungrily, greedily sucking on Yoongi’s tongue, and there’s no fight for dominance there never is with them. There is an understanding, a knowledge between their bodies, and in the back of Yoongi’s mind there is a voice saying  _ Hoseok is his, now and forever _ . He owns the man.

The thought should be comforting, but it’s not. Jimin has touched, has tasted what belongs to him, and he needs to wipe that memory, that flavor from Hoseok’s tongue. The kiss is relentless as he scrapes his teeth along Hoseok’s wet muscle like a brillo pad, scrubbing away anything that isn’t him.  A shiver rips through Hoseok, a reminder to Yoongi that the man likes pain.

“F U…” Hoseok doesn’t finish the words. The dancer’s mouth falls slack when Yoongi bites into his bottom lip so hard the taste of blood is on his tongue.

The air is thick, and their breathing is heavy. A  mixture of anger and wet desire fills the atmosphere. The tension is undeniable, the proverbial pink elephant sitting on both their backs. Yoongi wants to break Hoseok and bend him to his will, wants the dancer to scream his name as he begs for forgiveness. It’s not right, he knows it, but he forges forward, teeth nipping harder, relishing in the hiss the man lets out.

“What are you going to do Yoongi? Fuck me in revenge?” He’s sure that Hoseok means the words to be harsh, accusatory. Instead, they sound like begging, like pleading, like Hoseok is giving him permission.

Time stops, Hoseok’s words swirling around them like a whirlpool. Yes, fuck yes. That’s exactly what he wants:  _ revenge(?).  _ Yoongi’s hands slide to Hoseok’s back, grabbing the man’s ass roughly, kneading the firm flesh. Hoseok arches wantonly into him, and a succession of choked sounds falls from the dancer’s lips.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Hoseok’s body has long since given him the answer to that question

“Ye.. ah, yes.” Hoseok’s reply is breathy and unsteady.

“How do you want it? Rough, slow, hard? I’m feeling generous. I’ll let you choose,” he teases.

“F U C K!” Hoseok keens hard as Yoongi rolls his knee against the bulging hardness between the dancer’s legs. “I..I, just you inside--”

His lips swallow the rest of Hoseok’s sentence. Words are not what he wants. What he wants is for the burn of anger he feels to subside. He wants to not be in pain and to not hurt the people around him. He wants to not be the bad guy in this drama. He wants Hoseok to smile and Jungkook to be wide-eyed and innocent. He wants back what he’s so carelessly thrown away. As he pulls, almost drags, erotic needy sounds from Hoseok, a light goes off, and it’s bright, so bright his current darkness can’t overpower it.

It’s Ironic, Yoongi thinks, that his lowest moment is the one with the most clarity.

His hands fall from Hoseok body, and, slowly, he steps away. Hoseok’s breath is baited and his body is heaving, and want is bouncing off the man like sound waves. It would be so easy to give in, and Yoongi wants to because he knows what fucking Hoseok feels like, smells like, tastes like. It would feel good, they’d cum, and it would be amazing, but after...  _ after _ there would regret and pain, yet another obstacle added to the already mountain high tower of bad decisions they have made.

“I don’t own you. I thought Jimin had touched, tasted something that was mine…” he’s babbling, a flow of conscious thought, and the words are meant more for him than for Hoseok.

His insides are wound tight, and it’s weird, he thinks, that can see clearly now all the ways he’s fucked up this entire situation, himself, Jungkook, Hoseok, and even Jimin. Yoongi realizes he could have ended this game by simply making a choice. Instead, he played with hearts because he was greedy, because he wanted to grab hold of Jungkook without ever letting Hoseok go.  _ He is the bad guy. _

“…I don’t own you, Hope. I never did, and I don’t want to. You’re not a thing, but this whole time, our entire relationship, I’ve been treating you as an object.” He looks into the dancer’s eyes, and for the first time he sees,  _ really  _ sees all the pain he’s caused.

As they stand there, quiet, staring, for the first time Yoongi can see the end from the beginning. He can see the next step, and it hurts him to know that he found his answer by causing Hoseok pain.

“It’s not me, is it?” Hoseok’s voice cracks around the question, and Yoongi feels it like a stab to his chest, a knife twisting in his core.

This time when he pulls Hoseok into his arms there’s nothing dirty or malicious about it.

“I love you, Hope, I do, and I want to walk out of this room with us intact. There’s a lot we haven’t faced, the two of us, too many things that we’ve been holding on to, but, I think it’s time for the both of us to let go.” He walks the man to the bed and sits down.

He feels Hoseok sobbing against him so he tightens his grip, pulling the man close and rocking him through the tears. He lets Hoseok cry, and he cries too, silently, on the inside. He’s been such an idiot, such a fool, pretending all along like he didn’t see what was happening, like he didn’t know he was being greedy and unfair.

His feelings for Jungkook frighten him. He wasn’t prepared for how strong they are, how badly he wants the younger man, how worried he is that he will hurt him. When he turned to Hoseok that day, he knew what would happen. It’s what always happens: Hoseok comforts him, and he lets him, knowing, knowing it will lead to their pattern, hoping that pattern will be enough to end his feelings for Jungkook. It isn’t. This time his actions had a side effect that he didn’t see coming in the form of Jimin.

The suggestion to date both men was more of a challenge than a shock to him. He wanted to prove to Jimin that Hoseok was his, even if what he really wanted was Jungkook. It was selfish, but not because he wanted to prove Jimin wrong. It was more because he honestly didn’t want to let Hoseok go. The dancer is tied to him, an invisible string under his heart that tugs and pulls every time the man smiles or looks at him. He does love Hoseok, with all his heart. He’s just not... _ in _ love with him.

“I think…I think Jimin really cares about you. I think he wants to give you all the things I can’t. Give him a chance, Hope.” Yoongi laughs a bit, the irony of the whole situation finally sinking in. “Shit. I can’t believe I'm telling to give another guy a chance, but I am. You deserve so much better than my shitty, possessive, self.”

“I like shitty you the best, though.” Hoseok’s words are hiccuped against his chest.

“I like you the best too, Hope, always will, but what we have isn’t healthy. We aren’t healthy together, not in a relationship way at least. I take and don’t give back, and you let it happen. I want to break this cycle of thinking you owe me things when you don’t.”

He smoothes Hoseok’s sweat-drenched hair, pulling him up so he can look into his eyes. He’s always known that their relationship was lopsided. Hoseok has always loved more, given more. Staring into Hoseok’s deep, dark orbs he realizes he’s the reason the man has never sought out love. The dancer has been waiting patiently all this time for Yoongi to be the one to give it to him. When he leans in, his mouth pressed against Hoseok’s, his tongue parting the man’s lips, it isn’t to take something from the man… it’s to give back. It’s to say goodbye.

 

 

 

*******A/N**********

All yelling and screaming can be done [here](lulublu1014.tumblr.com).

  
  



	20. What Are You Waiting For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook's tired of waiting.  
> Yoongi's a hermit.  
> And Hoseok finds his happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this story is finished. Once again thank you to Bug for making this story readable. To the readers that stuck it out with me and this story, THANK YOU! You've encouraged me and made me smile. I appreciate all of you. 
> 
> The title is taken from Hey Ocean's, Give.

Hoseok wakes up to a warm body pressed into his and shallow breaths ghosting over his collar bone. His mind is hazy with sleep; he would move, but he’s too comfortable. Curling into the heat that surrounds him, he leans down and lightly kisses the cheek nestling by his neck, then allows his eyes to close once again. Life's surprising, that’s what Hoseok thinks as he falls back to slumber. Sometimes the most horrible things bring about the most beautiful results.

 

**TWO YEARS PRIOR**

The carpet is beginning to get warm under his feet, and Yoongi fears he may burn holes into the gray-blue yarn. He’s been pacing his room for the past hour or so and contemplating his next move, which seems to be hideout indefinitely until all the occupants of the house have died or until he no longer feels like a world class loser. The first option seems like the winner.

Three days have come and gone since his encounter with Hoseok, which he now refers to as a momentary lack of brain function. He can’t get the image of Hoseok out of his mind, when he pushed the man against the wall, fully intending to take advantage of him as though the person who had been his constant companion and ally through thick and thin was some sort of three dollar hooker.

Shaking his head, hoping to erase the mental image as a picture on an etch-a-sketch, he grimaces when it doesn’t work and runs a hand through his hair, ruffling his black locks in frustration. Yoongi lets out a stifled cry, and the sound bounces off the walls of his small room, echoing back his pain. Walking a few steps more, he decides to give the rug a break and sits on his bed, burying his face in his palms.

What makes the whole situation worse is that he knows what he needs to do. He’s known from the beginning, from that first conversation with Namjoon when he realized that his feelings for Jungkook were anything but brotherly; he knew what to do then. He knew, but in true Yoongi fashion, he kept his mouth shut, kept his feelings to himself, and made himself believe if he ignored it, it would go away, made himself believe that no action was the right action. Well, it wasn’t, and now he's fucked everything up.

Falling back on the bed, Yoongi’s head hits the mattress with a soft thud. He finds himself sitting up almost immediately, startled by a knock on his door. Since that day, the momentary lack of brain function, no one has approached him. Okay, technically he’s been hiding out in his room or his studio like a ninja avoiding all human contact, but still--no one has approached him.

“Come in,” he answers reluctantly; he’s not sure he’s ready for human contact. “Come in,” he answers reluctantly, he’s not sure he’s ready for human contact.

“Hey,” Yoongi looks up in shock, surprised to hear Hoseok’s voice coming from the door frame.

“Hey.” He’s not sure what else to say, he stares awkwardly almost gawking at the man.

He feels stupid, no, dirty. He feels dirty, like a perverted old man who feels up sleeping girls on public transportation; he saw a video once, why is that thought is his head? _Damn it, Yoongi, get it together_. He fidgets with his fingers and looks down as though his hand is the most interesting thing in the world. He feels embarrassed and sad, and he can’t look at Hoseok knowing he’s destroyed the most stable relationship he’s ever had and lost his closest friend.

“So, you ever plan on leaving your room?” Hosoek speaks, and there is no hurt or disappointment in the man’s tone. Yoongi swears he hears a smile in the man’s voice—he should look up, just to confirm, but he doesn’t.

“Nope,” he replies, eyes still firmly glued to his hands—when did he get all these veins? “I’ve grown attached to this space and plan on staying here until someone finds my cold, stiff corpse.

“Mmm, well that’s a problem. Because, Rock, Paper, Scissors statistics suggests that joy will be all mine, and to be honest, I’m against dead bodies.” Hoseok chuckles, and Yoongi finds himself breathing a sigh. However, he’s unsure if it’s one of relief or worry.

Yoongi chuckles despite the discomfort he feels; the thought of Hoseok finding his dead body is funnier than it should be, but the man is afraid of flies, so the chuckle can’t be helped.

Finally, _finally,_ Yoongi looks up, and what he sees has hope breaking through the haze of his self-inflicted darkness. Hoseok’s brown eyes are soft and concerned, and he looks warm, so warm. Yoongi has a brief moment of wanting to hug the man, but he knows he can’t.

“I can’t face him, Seok. Hell, I can’t face you. I’ve been a grade A asshole. I destroyed our friendship and fucked any chance I may have had with Jungkook. How are you even talking to me right now?” He wants to cry, and that’s a problem because Min Yoongi doesn’t cry.

He hears Hoseok sigh and watches with wide eyes as the man slowly strolls towards him. The bed dips as Hoseok takes a seat beside him, turning slightly to face him. Hoseok smiles, and Yoongi unconsciously returns the action.

“I’m talking to you because you’re my friend and because I love you.”

Yoongi chokes and coughs. Did Hoseok not understand what occurred in their last encounter?

“Relax chief. I said I loved you, not that I’m _in_ love with you. Cocky much?” Hoseok retorts as though reading Yoongi’s mind. The man laughs, and it’s real and bright and feels like the sun shining in Yoongi’s heart.

He looks at Hoseok, _really_ looks at Hoseok, and there’s no anger, no disappointment, no held in resentment cluttering the man’s gaze. What he does see in Hoseok’s dark orbs is kindness, concern, and friendship—and for the first time since Yoongi got himself into this whole mess, he feels the pressure beginning to ease.

“I don’t know what to do Hobi,” he admits. “I screwed up.”

“Yoons, I can vouch for the fact that you didn’t screw this up on your own; you had help, a lot of help. So, let’s work it out together, huh? Let’s end this hermit crab lifestyle that you’ve embraced. You’re not an island Yoongi; you’re human. You’re not meant to survive alone.” He nods taking in all of Hoseok’s words. The man’s right. Yoongi feels very human at the moment.

“How? How do I, uhm, we fix this? I’m sure Jungkook doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say, and even if he did—I have no idea what I would say.” He’s whining, and it’s equally as distressing as crying because Min Yoongi doesn’t whine. EVER.

“First of all, you’re wrong. If you had taken the time to come out of your hole, you would know that the ONLY person Jungkook wants to talk to is you, The poor kid’s so worried about you, he hasn’t eaten properly for the past few days. As for the second thing, I’m sure that once you grow a pair and go to the boy, the words will come. You know what you want to say, Yoongi, we both know you do. Just freaking open your mouth and let the words come out.” Hoseok’s blunt but not malicious, and Yoongi is thankful for their friendship.

He’s stunned into a brief period of silence. Jungkook wants to talk to him, wants to hear from him, is worried about him. He must have heard Hoseok wrong. There is no way someone as precious and lovely as Jungkook is waiting for him, not with all the crap that has transpired between them. He finds his voice.

“He what?” he asks still in disbelief.

“He wants to hear from you, Yoongi. He needs you to tell him what’s going on,” Hoseok reiterates.

“Me? He wants to hear from me?” He’s still confused.

“Yes. You. Now be the man we both know you are, and talk to him. You’re right Yoongi; it’s time for both of us to get what we want. Sometimes home isn’t four walls, Yoongi. Sometimes it’s two eyes and a heartbeat. ” Hoseok’s voice grows soft, and this time Yoongi gives in to his desires and pulls Hoseok into a tight hug.

“I love you too; you know that, right?’

“Of course you do. I’m lovely” Hoseok’s breath is warm against his ear. “We’re good, right?’

“Yeah, if we can survive this, we can survive anything. So yeah, were good. We’re better than good; we’re great, amazing, fantastic and unbreakable.” Yoongi elaborates, and Hoseok laughs against his skin.

“Good, now go apologize to Jungkook and beg him to give you another chance,” Hoseok advises.

They separate.

“What about you and Jimin?”

“I’m working on it, on finding my happiness.” Hoseok’s eyes are shining.

“Good, that makes me happy.” Yoongi means it; he wants Hoseok to be happy.

The room is quite once Hoseok leaves, but it’s not the same quiet darkness that plagued him before the man’s visit. The silence is not heavy this time around because Hoseok brought hope through the doors when he entered, and in true Hoseok style, he left it when he exited.

 

 

“You okay,” Taehyung questions him for the third, and Jungkook nods his reply.

It’s a lie; he’s not okay. So much has happened, rumors of things that transpired while Hoseok and Yoongi were left alone, things he knows are true but still refuses to believe. He wants to be angry, but he can’t. He doesn’t have the right. Yoongi doesn’t belong to him. No commitment has been made, no declaration of love, but that doesn’t keep Jungkook from being disappointed and hurt. He’s aware that he’s young, aware that he may not have a grasp on how the world works, but he’s not stupid. He knows what he feels, and he knows it’s real.

People mean well, but he's tired of third-hand info, of others telling him what he should think, what he should feel, how he should react. The hyungs mean well, but Namjoon and Jin have no idea what’s going on with him internally. He just needs a break. It’s why he’s hiding out, finding comfort with Taehyung and Jimin.

“You’re lying,” Jimin states. There’s no bite to the statement, no prodding for Jungkook to give more details. The older boy is merely stating a fact and giving Jungkook an open door to speak if he chooses. He doesn’t.

“I know,” he replies honestly.

Jimin and Taehyung both chuckle at his response. They’re sitting on Taehyung’s bed, squished together like sardines in a can. The bed’s not meant for three—but they’re comfortable. Taehyung’s in the middle with a laptop resting on his thighs. Jungkook’s not sure what they are watching. He hasn’t been paying attention; his mind is a million miles away.

“Wanna talk about it?” Taehyung finally asks, and Jungkook is slightly proud of the will-power his friend has displayed because it has taken him three full days to get the question out.

“Not really.” He sighs deeply, and it feels like he’s swallowed the world. “I’m not sure what to say, to be honest. I’m hurt, but I don’t have a valid reason to be. Yoongi hyung was never really mine, you know? He was just something I hoped and wished for. I feel like what I’m feeling right now isn’t valid.”

“That’s bullshit.” Jimin and Jungkook turn to look at Taehyung, shocked by the passion of his response. “Your feelings are fucking valid. Yoongi hyung’s an idiot if he doesn’t think that’s true. Kookie, never do that, never believe that what you feel isn’t important. Yoongi played with your emotions, and no, I don’t think he meant to, but he did, and now he needs to own up and take responsibility for his actions. Don’ t let him off the hook so easy, and don’t take the blame for it either.”

Jungkook stares at the screen, unable to meet Taehyung or Jimin’s gaze. He inhales, taking a deep breath, trying to push down the emotions that are threatening to overtake him. The problem here, _the problem is_ : he wants to let Yoongi off the hook, he does, and all that has to happen for Jungkook to cave, for him to give Yoongi every part of himself freely, is for the man to find him. He doesn’t respond to Taehyung. He can’t find words, and he’s sure that if he told his friend what he was thinking, it would just lead to a scolding. Instead, he drops his head on Taehyung’s shoulder and throws an arm across the man’s stomach and takes comfort in the warmth that radiates off the older boy.

“Dodging a response, I see.” He chuckles; Taehyung knows him so well.

This, snuggled into Taehyung, is how Yoongi finds him when the man comes barging into Taehyung’s room like the police breaking down a door in a raid. Jungkook’s realizes how easy he is when excitement begins to bubble in his core. It feels like a scene from a drama, Yoongi racing into the room, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him out of bed without saying a single word. He gets up without a fight and shakes off Jimin’s hand when he feels the boy trying to hold him back. He needs this. He needs this moment, and he won’t allow anyone (no matter how well-intended) to disrupt it.

They walk through the hall, hand in hand, past the concerned stares of Jin and Namjoon and straight to Yoongi’s room. Jungkook’s heart is beating fast and hard; the loud thumps sound like clashing cymbals in his ears. Yoongi drags him into the room, leaving him in the center, then turns back to close the door. They stand there without moving, him in the middle of the rapper’s tiny room and Yoongi leaning with his back against the door. They don’t talk, not for a while; they just stand there, silently.

There are a million, no, a billion words on the tip of Jungkook’s tongue, statements that need to be said, questions that need answers, but the path from his brain to his mouth has been blocked by the intensity of Yoongi’s stare. Jungkook has known Yoongi for the better part of six years; he knows when Yoongi is happy, sad, upset—he knows when Yoongi wants to talk and when he wants to be left alone with just one look.

This look, this look is one that Jungkook hasn’t seen before, and it affects him. There’s a sweet heat building, traveling from his stomach and soaring through him as though a thousand butterflies had been released, filling every nook and cranny of his being. He feels himself trembling as a shiver runs through him. He tries to break the gaze, hoping to regain his center, but he can’t. Yoongi’s eyes are like staring into the sun—it’s blinding. Jungkook almost swallows his tongue when Yoongi begins to move towards him, slowly, hesitantly. If his heartbeats were cymbals before, well, now, now they’re the loudest thing Jungkook has ever heard, and he can’t find anything to compare the deafening sound to.

His heart stops, and he briefly wonders if he has died. It starts again when Yoongi stops moving. The man is mere inches from him; their toes are touching, and Jungkook closes his eyes. He just needs a fucking moment to regain some ground. Yoongi has always been a losing battle for him. The rapper has so much power over his emotions and his feelings, and Jungkook is not sure when he gave it to the man. He’s not sure he did or if Yoongi stole it from him. In the scheme of things, how Yoongi acquired such rule over him doesn’t matter. What does matter is whether or not the man wants this control because if he does, Jungkook’s willing to leave it with him.

“I’m sorry.” The first words out of Yoongi’s mouth have him so shook; he thinks he may never open his eyes again. “I know,” Yoongi continues, “a simple apology isn’t enough. You deserve more, so much more. But I needed to say it.”

He hears Yoongi swallow. With his eyes closed, he senses rather than sees Yoongi’s fear and insecurity. He wants to tell Yoongi it’s okay, that he forgives him, but his words are tangled, lost somewhere in the recesses of his jumbled emotional state.

“You make me want things, and I’m scared Jungkook. You’re a kid. What if I’m just taking advantage of you? I’m scared to hurt you, but I’m terrified of not being with you. Instead of telling you, I acted on my fears, kept quiet, and opened you up to pain. I understand if you don’t want to forgive me or give me a second chance, but I just so you know, I want one, another chance. Don’t answer me now. Take some time and figure out what you what. God knows you deserve all the time in the world after all the hell I’ve put you through.”

Jungkook still hasn’t moved. He’s glued to his spot in the center of the room, planted, a tree with deep roots. Firm fingers on his cheek have him finally opening his eyes; he doesn’t attempt to fight the desire to lean into the touch. His heart’s still pounding, his thoughts in disarray, yet despite it all, he wants this, wants Yoongi. He’s unable to find his language, not with the way Yoongi caresses his skin softly, lovingly, and most definitely not with the way the man holds his gaze, steady and unwavering, stealing all Jungkook’s words with a look.

Speech finds its way back to him when Yoongi suddenly drops his hand and steps back; speech finds its way back to him when he notices the rapper beginning to turn around, and Jungkook knows, _he knows_ Yoongi will walk away, yet again. Speech comes back to him just in time, and he knows if he lets Yoongi leave this room--he’ll never find the courage to go after him. The words fly out of his mouth with a force and momentum that threatens to knock Jungkook further off his already tilted axis.

“Don’t go.” He’s pretty sure he screamed the statement. Yoongi stops dead in his tracks, back still facing Jungkook. “Don’t go. Please, hyung, don’t go.” The words are softer this time, almost a whisper.

Speaking, it seems, is the magic that breaks the spell of immobility as Jungkook’s limbs start to work once again. He takes a step in Yoongi’s direction. The man had closed the distance between them when he came to find Jungkook, and now it’s his turn to return the favor, his turn to let Yoongi know: He doesn’t need time.

“I forgive you, hyung. I forgave you the moment you walked into Taehyung’s room to find me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from you, that you find me, and you did. You came for me. You chose me. I don’t care what road you took to get here. I don’t care about the amount of times you fell or slipped on the journey because in the end, you found your way to me.” Jungkook stops just short of closing the distance between them, just short. “I’m scared too, hyung; you have so much power over me. It terrifies the hell out of me how easily you can move me. That’s why-” he takes a shaky breath, “that’s why I’m here, within your reach, and all you have to do is turn around and take me.”

 

 

Yoongi doesn’t move. Jungkook asked him to stay. He can’t move. He’s not in control of his body; Jungkook’s desperate tone has, it seems, caused his mind to break. Yoongi honestly wasn’t expecting a response. He wasn’t expecting Jungkook to ask him to stay, and in a million years he’d never dare dream of hearing the next sentence that come from the boy’s beautiful mouth.

_All you have to do is turn around and take me._

Yoongi’s heart is bursting with joy, fear, and desire. Slowly, very slowly, he begins to move, unsure about what he’ll find when he turns around, unsure his limbs will even allow him to progress past the spot he’s in now. Inch by inch he moves until they’re face to face, eye to eye. Jungkook’s chest is heaving up and down, and it seems as though the boy is fighting for every breath. Yoongi’s sure if his own heart weren’t so goddamn loud he’d be able to hear the thumps of Jungkook’s heart clearly.

He doesn’t move to close the gap between them, not yet, not until he’s sure it’s the right thing to do.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you or force you into anything. Don’t answer because you’re scared I won’t wait because I will.” He means every word; he’ll wait until his last breath if that’s what it takes.

“I’ve waited enough, hyung. I’m tired of waiting, aren’t you?” Jungkook holds his gaze, and Yoongi’s heart jumps into his throat.

“Yes.” His response sounds scratchy; his throat feels dry.

“Then do something about it,” Jungkook dares him, and Yoongi accepts the challenge.

Jungkook submits immediately, opening up like a budding flower. The boy's lips are soft and warm, and they fit perfectly, aligned with Yoongi’s. It’s not their first kiss, but it is the first one that means something. It’s a seal and stamp in the passport of their newly forming relationship, validating its existence. Jungkook leans in eagerly, bending and curving into Yoongi to accommodate their height difference. Yoongi leans until their foreheads are touching.

“Thank you.” He whispers the words into Jungkook’s skin.

“For what?” The boy’s voice is dark, husky, and Yoongi bites back the desire to push Jungkook against something and kiss him until they both pass out.

“For letting me find you.”

“I’d never hide from you, hyung, ever,” Jungkook murmurs.

Cupping Jungkook’s face in his hands, he holds the younger man in place, staring, looking—committing to memory every detail about this moment. From the way Jungkook’s breath drifts over his skin, hot and heavy, to the way his eyelids slowly flutter shut as Yoongi gradually leans in. Their lips are touching once again, just touching, and there’s no rush . He caresses Jungkook’s cheek with his thumb, enjoying the softness of Jungkook’s smooth skin. Like this, so willingly pliable under Yoongi’s touch, the boy’s the most beautiful.

When his lips finally move against Jungkook’s, a small gasp escapes the boy’s mouth, and he takes advantage of the moment and slips his tongue between Jungkook’s chapped lips. The kiss obliterates every fear, every worry, every wayward thought that Yoongi has, and for the first time in what seems like ages, he’s invested in the present, in the moment, and not locked up by the mistakes of his past.

Swimming in a sea of endorphins and want, his only desire is to hold Jungkook close, to touch him, to run his fingers along the edges of the boy’s sunkissed skin and find the promise of summer that hides there. He savors the taste, the feel of Jungkook’s lips pushing against his as their breaths quicken in equal measure. The kiss is passionate and chaste, and Yoongi briefly wonders how those things could ever coexist, but they do. A warmth spreads through him, and it reminds him of the first sip of coffee in the morning, of the sunshine after a rainstorm, of the first time you hear a baby laugh—of love, and it fills every part of him from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet.

“I love you.” He whispers the words against Jungkook’s quivering lips and feels them transform into a smile.

“I love you too, hyung” Jungkook replies without hesitation.

Yoongi had taken the bumpiest, most dangerous path he could find to make his way to Jungkook. The path behind him is littered with nearly broken relationships and a cornucopia of all his bad choices. Yet, he doesn’t bemoan the journey; it’s made him stronger and wiser. He’ll know better for next time, and most importantly, it brought him to exactly where he needed to be: in Jungkook’s arms.

 

**TWO YEARS LATER**

The second time Hoseok wakes up, the sun is glaring through the blind, telling him it’s time to start the day. He still doesn’t want to move.

“What time is it?” The voice is his favorite sound in the world.

Hoseok turns his head to looks at the clock; the numbers are blurry. He rubs his eyes.

“Ten-thirty,” Hoseok informs the man.

“Mmm, you’re warm and soft.”

“I could say the same about you,” Hoseok states.

“Then say it.” The man chuckles when Hoseok hits him in the arm.

“Cheeky little shit.”

“Correction, _your_ cheeky little shit.”

Hoseok laughs at his lover’s response. Two years ago, had someone told him he would feel this loved, this wanted, he would have told them they were lying, but every day, in small yet significant ways, Jimin makes him feel like the most cared for person on the planet. The day Yoongi set him free, the man gave him the greatest gift that could be given: the right to love and be loved.

“That’s right; you’re my cheeky little shit. Don’t you ever forget it.”

 

-fin-

 

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**Author's Note:**

> A lot of Yoongi and Jungkook feels lately. I love sugakookies, don't you.


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